Where Is The Love?

It’s only the beginning of the summer season, and I’ve heard from many mothers via email and spoken with many in person that are already stressing the summer with their children. Disobedience, boredom, cost of summer camps, eating everything in sight, talking non-stop, the list goes on and on. Yesterday I felt the need to search my own heart in regards to my love for ALL children. Sometimes I wonder where the love is when a child comes over that may not be as disciplined or obedient as I think they should be. All children need love and it’s probably because of the lack of love they receive that they act the way they do. It’s not rare for our home to have one, two, maybe three children besides our own and yes, it’s always one that I have to give extra attention to in regards to their behavior. Instead of wishing the child would go home, I SHOULD have a desire to willingly reach out to that child. It’s easy to love a lovable child!! My prayer lately has been to have the love of the Lord for ALL children, not just my own. Help me, Lord! Help me to have your patience with children, your long-suffering with children, your understanding with children, and especially your heart for children. It's summertime and it looks like the mothers are in summer school...The School of Love!

Back On Track

I’ve had four days alone while my family was out of town and now it’s time to get back into the swing of things. They brought back tons of laundry and it's not only calling my name, it’s yelling and begging, but that’s okay! The thing I learned most during my four days of personal retreat was to develop a praying spirit and a mind of continual meditation. What am I thinking about anyway that would benefit my disposition and well being during the course of the day? I usually think about what needs to be done, what I already finished, or concentrating on whatever I’m doing at the moment. As I do laundry and empty their full suitcases, I’ll begin practicing saying a prayer for whoever’s clothing I’m handling at the moment. While cooking, I’ll pray for the family and while cleaning, I’ll pray for a servant attitude as I serve the family God has placed in my care. I know this won’t happen overnight, yet I have to begin somewhere and I have to practice it daily. I learned from one of the Pensacola Pelicans, our local baseball team, that practice doesn’t make perfect, yet perfect practice makes perfection. Can you imagine always having a peaceful spirit and a mind of meditation with your husband and children? I wouldn’t have high blood pressure! Having that time alone has definitely helped my attitude. It’s so true - time away makes you a better wife and mother and it doesn’t matter who goes away...somebody just go!

What's Important?

If you were told you would die tonight, would you make any of the following statements? “I need to close this file before I leave the office.” “I have one important client to see before I leave.” “There is one more load of laundry I need to wash.” No, I don’t think we would make any of these comments. We would most likely gather our family together and spend our last hours wrapped in their love. There is really nothing more important than family and our everyday lives should display that, yet it is so easy to get caught up in chasing our own goals, needs, and wants. It’s okay to have desires, yet sometimes we lose focus on what’s important. My husband is the master of reminding me I have a family. It use to irritate me, yet I’ve learned that I’m blessed to have a husband who believes family is priority. I use to think he wanted me tied to the house with a ball and chain, yet he has supported me in everything I’ve ever done; he believes it’s his job to keep me grounded. I’m good at getting in fifth gear and staying there for a while, but God puts on the brakes to get my life back in perspective. Nothing is so important that family should be put on the back burner. Volunteer work, church ministry, and careers are fine as long as our family is our priority and they know it through our actions and feel it through our love for them. After all, what’s more important than family?

Raising Mothers E-Newsletter

MOMSWEB reaches mothers across the country from California to New York City, and as we continue to build and strengthen our web, there is a continual need for support and encouragement in all aspects of motherhood. Remember the Old Ethiopian Proverb..."When spider webs unite, they can tie up a lion." MW now has a great way we can join together and strengthen each other!

Raising Mothers E-Newsletter invites you to share your personal story, offer encouragement, and share tips with mothers everywhere! Topics of interest and concern to mothers may be submitted to MW via email in 500 words or less. Topics such as, creative ideas for family time, disciplining children, coping with hormones, never-ending housework, finding time alone, home-schooling, juggling family and career, spiritual growth, keeping husbands happy, pregnancy, challenging teenage years, step-parenting, managing a home business, time management, keeping your sanity, being a Godly mother, teaching children to pray, coping with an empty nest, meal planning, and shopping on a budget, are just a few ideas. We are in different seasons in our life with our children, husbands, and spiritual growth, therefore, there are countless topics to consider. Don't keep your story/tip a secret; mothers are waiting to hear from you and we are truly mothers raising mothers!

Read the first issue of Raising Mothers at http://www.momsweb.net/magazine.cfm. Our feature story is by wife and mother, Gwendolyn Lewis of Florida. Gwen shares her feelings of not feeling loved by her mother throughout her childhood and her journey to forgiveness.

Submit your story to mailto:momsweb@momsweb.net and please help MW share this opportunity with other mothers!

Summertime Struggles

Children look so forward to the last day of school and being able to have a little fun without the thought of homework and alarm clocks. Unfortunately, the feeling is not mutual among all parents. So many parents struggle to find summer camps and other babysitting alternatives for children. What’s a working mother to do now that her child is home everyday? I’ve never noticed this before and it’s probably because this year I’ve been asked by several mothers to help them out. I’d be running a childcare if I helped everyone as I wish I could. Nothing changes in my home during the summer break because the boys are home-schooled year round with several free days to make them feel they are on summer vacation (smile). I haven’t a clue what I would do if I were working because money would probably be an issue. Pay for childcare for the entire summer? Yep, I’d be looking for a nearby relative for a few weeks. Is this why children go away during summer break? Wouldn’t it be great to have several schools in your city that would be open during the summer to have fun refresher courses, learning activities, outside fun and games plus other entertaining events for children? Parents could make payments throughout the entire school year and be paid up in time for summer break! Hmmm…sounds like a winner! I’m sure there are some teachers who would like extra pay or teachers in training needed experience that would love to work during the summer. Although some parents do look forward to the summer time for family vacations, the majority must continue to work to keep food on the table. We all deserve a break…even from summertime struggles!

Be Ready!

Don’t get ready for the day; Be ready! Be on guard, be prepared, and be aware and ready for those unexpected events that are bound to happen. When was the last time you had a day where everything went as planned, you didn’t have to look for keys or a shoe, you didn’t lose your temper, or have to deal with someone else’s bad attitude? Whether it be our children, husband, or someone outside the home, be ready! This was my word of wisdom during my meditation this morning and I thank God for the secret weapon to handling the day. It’s like being on a battlefield, which we are, and always having our battle gear on, weapons ready, and staying alert! Spilled milk? No problem! Disobedient child? No problem! Bill collector? No problem! You know it’s coming, so prepare for combat and this includes our attitude, which will take us to a new level of reaction to those simple everyday mishaps and prickly places throughout the day. Are you ready for the day?

They Really Care!

When I’m feeling ill or extremely tired, I continue to do what needs to be done for my family. The cooking, cleaning, and laundry still needs to be done...who else will do it? I continue as if everything is okay while praying for strength to keep going. When I crash on the sofa with dishes in the sink or go to bed before anyone else is a clue to my family that I’ve reached my limit. This happened yesterday at the end of our very full day and I was quite pleased at how my family stepped up to the plate. I knew I needed to rest and eat a decent meal, yet only had the energy to crash on the sofa. My youngest was extremely attentive as he made me a grilled cheese sandwich and served me. My oldest waited on me hand and foot and my husband later prepared my favorite meal of fish, fries, and slaw. He cooked! He sure looked good in the kitchen AND he washed dishes! So, is this the key to receiving this type of treatment every now and then? Act like I’m about to die? I’m sure they would do this more often if I asked them to, yet it sure would be nice for them to do it on their own every now and then! Even after I felt better, I didn’t let them know…I enjoyed every bit of this royal treatment until I fell asleep. The most important part of this ordeal was letting my sons know how their attentiveness was appreciated! I let them know how important it will be to let their own wives feel loved and appreciated on a regular basis. Today I am rejuvenated and ready to tackle the tasks of the day! REST is a crucial ingredient for a happy wife and mother.

"Can We Talk Now?"

Okay, time out! It seems my boys can't get enough of me. Do they really love my company that much or is it because they don’t have anyone else to talk to besides each other? Just give me a minute to breath! Coming home from church last night, I must have heard Mama, Mama, Mama, fifty times! Did they not see their father in the driver's seat? My goodness, am I the only parent they want to share their experiences with? Yeah, yeah, I know, I chose to home school them and be here with them everyday and I wouldn't have it any other way, yet can I just vent a moment? I'm feeling better already (smile). My name is called beginning first thing in the morning and ends when they go to bed at night. I'm extremely happy they feel comfortable enough to share their secrets, show me their acrobatic moves, and tell me an eight-minute, made up story with imaginary characters, yet can I have an intermission period? Toooo funny! Just thinking of them warms my heart and it's hilarious when I tell them I need a moment of silence and they wait anxiously for that moment to end, so they can mama me again (smile). Those moments of silence have been known to last a whole car trip to run errands and back. "Mama, can we talk now?" Our reading time use to be quiet, yet now they are reading books they are so excited about, they want to share what they read or the youngest is asking for help sounding out words. I'm blessed to have two energetic boys excited about life and learning, and happy to have their mother at home with them. I just needed to vent and now I’m okay! Thanks for listening! I lost my peace for a minute and thank God I found it. Sometimes our temperament level can be shorter on some days than on others due to our hallelujah hormones. Hallelujah!! Time to go now, they aren't allowed to talk to me while I'm working on the computer and one keeps peering around the corner (smile).
Now I know why my mother would tell us she was going to change her name!!

Letting Go

I attended a kindergarten graduation last night and was reminded I have one chance to raise my two sons and I don’t want to mess it up. Raising boys to become Godly men, gentlemen, loving fathers, and supportive husbands is not easy and I dare not imagine raising a girl to be a Godly woman. It’s a challenge for both, so a while ago, I made a decision to not raise my children and allow God to raise them THROUGH me; they belong to Him anyway! I ask for God’s wisdom daily and try to take advantage of every given opportunity to teach, guide, and correct the boys and believe me; they give me plenty of opportunities to correct! I often think about the children I know who spent time in a loving home with supportive parents and they still ended up on drugs, making unwise decisions, and going down a path their parents never imagined. All we can do is do our best and ensure we teach our children God’s Word diligently...this is what we are charged to do. I have to remind myself that God is in control of their lives, not me. If I had control, I’d surely mess them up. The day my sons walk out of the house, I want to know without reservation, that I’ve done my best and did all I was supposed to do to teach them right from wrong, good morals, strong values, and solid character qualities. It’ll be easier letting them go, knowing they’ve been given the right tools because one day I WILL have to let them go!

Share Your Story!

I thank everyone for your comments, whether through my personal email or via the blog. MOMSWEB is read and supported by mothers across the country from New York to Washington State, and although our views may be different, we all share the Motherhood Role! I invite you to share your personal story for publishing on the MW site and also continue sharing your comments on our blog. Your testimonies, trials, joys, and struggles will definitely encourage another mother going through a similar situation. Many of us are more private than others, and that's okay! If you would just like to read for benefit, please do and don't hesitate to share us with your friends and neighbors! The MW Publication, Raising Mothers, will be online shortly and we invite you to read stories submitted by mothers just like you! Have a joyful day in your journey of motherhood!! www.momsweb.net

A New Start

I walked into my sons’ room as I do so many times and once again it was time for a major clean up session. Of course they were doing something they didn’t want to be taken away from, so since I was already angry enough to hit one of them, I decided to leave them where they were. I moved beds and found popcorn kernels, dirty clothes, stinky, soiled socks, books, belts, paper, toys, water bottles, more smelly socks, and anything else that shouldn’t be under the bed. Okay, maybe they sincerely think the bed is a storage area. With each piece I picked up, I became angrier. Just this morning, they told me their room was clean. This is clean?! To them, it obviously is. My thoughts were ugly and if either of them were near me, I know I would have snatched them up and been held guilty of child abuse. The Lord automatically convicted me of my thoughts and reminded me how He gave me a new start. Lord, give me a break! Surely, I’m not supposed to let them get away with this! “LaVender, my dear daughter, when your life was full of sin, ugliness, trash, filth, and other skeletons you had hidden in your closet and under your bed, I cleaned it all out and gave you a new start. No, I didn’t beat you, condemn you, or punish you, but simply washed your sins away, white as snow, and gave you a new start. Do you still sin? Are you still ugly? Do you still have skeletons in your closet? Yes you do, yet you stand in my grace and mercy.” HMPH! Okay, when my boys come in, they too will have a fresh start and I will daily HELP them and SHOW them how to keep their room clean. They’ve shown me they can’t do it by themselves. Just as we can’t seek righteousness and strive to walk the straight and narrow, we must have the daily help of our Heavenly Father. I’m not only raising my children, they are raising me!

Happy Mother's Day!!

May your Mother’s Day weekend be filled with good thoughts and memories of all the women who have been mothers and mother figures in your life! May you also have an enjoyable weekend celebrating MOTHERHOOD!

MOMSWEB reminds mothers they are Valued, Appreciated, Influential, Providential, Needed, and Chosen to be caretakers of God's children and nurturers in the home. The role of Motherhood is the most precious and powerful role made by God. MOMSWEB is a home for all mothers. www.momsweb.net

A New Love

Every new day I'm a mother is another day my love grows for my two boys. I thank God for this new love I'm experiencing and it feels good. The smiles on their faces and the wonderful comments I hear from everyone else regarding their manners and demeanor, I'm beginning to see for myself. The past few weeks, my husband and I have been sharing one vehicle and it's been wonderful not having transportation. The boys and I hang out at home, do homework, talk, play, dance, read, and whatever else we feel like doing with no disturbances. Don't get me wrong, I didn't say I wanted to be with them 24/7...I will still look for my quiet time alone this evening, however, this new love...deeper love, I'm experiencing for them is truly of the Lord and it feels good. Let's see what they do later to make me wonder if I sent this blog prematurely (smile). My boys can sometimes exhaust me and drain me of every ounce of energy and brain cells I have, so to feel this way is quite refreshing.


One of my greatest accomplishments in my life was finally accepting who I am as a woman, wife, and mother. From every aspect of my personality to the mother God is continually molding me to be, the fact is...I am, who I am. Mothers are good at critiquing and correcting, after all, that’s what we do. We compare houses, children, and each other. What works well in one household won’t necessarily work in another. We all have different personalities, desires, tolerance levels, various levels of support or no support from husbands, etc… I’ve been a mother for just over ten years and each new day shows me just how much I don’t know about mothering. Twelve years of marriage is teaching me how to love unconditionally. They (whoever they is) say the first two years are the hardest, yet I beg to differ! Real love stands the test of time and trials! Needless to say, we can all learn from each other. We’re all in the same boat, yet different size boats with different capabilities. Your yacht is no better than my fishing boat…they both stay afloat and they both can sink. Be proud of who you are, yet not so proud God can’t mold you to be all He wants you to be. God made you a unique woman; there is nobody else like you. He strategically chose you to be the mother of your children; nobody else can mother them like you. He also chose your husband for you (if you let Him); nobody else can be his happy helpmate! The next time you are speaking to another woman or with a group of mothers and the conversation turns to our home, husbands, or children, know we all have something to offer and we can learn from one another. Let's not be so critical and try to listen more and talk less. We may not all agree, yet you are you and I am me. (Yes, I know this is not proper grammar)

No Control

I woke up a little later than usual this morning and wanted to immediately begin my housework to catch up on lost time. I usually take time to sit and spend time with the Lord, meditate, and pray, yet since I was running late, I thought maybe I should catch up with Him later. WRONG! I was immediately reminded that if I didn't have God I wouldn't have the ability to do anything! I sat down with my Bible and continued my reading in the book of Proverbs, which the first few chapters discuss wisdom...how ironic. I needed to make a wise choice this morning, not a foolish one...thank God for wisdom! We convince ourselves that we have control over our lives, when actually we are puppets for the Lord. He does what He wants with us, when He wants to and how He wants to! There is no way I can do anything on my To Do List without God. Nothing is more important than time with the Lord. Even if it's just a short prayer saying, "Lord, help me today and direct my steps." Although I should have been up and going earlier, I don’t feel rushed. God is in control and I will allow Him to control my day.


I can't tell you what a joy it is to offer support and encouragement to moms from all walks of life. I use to be a working mom and I completely admired mothers who stayed home with their children. I wanted to be just like them when I grew up. I also noticed there were many mothers who enjoyed being in the workforce and had no desire to be at home all day with their children. Regardless of what your choice is, know that being a MOTHER is the most important, influential, valued, role created by God! No ifs, ands, or buts about it! Sometimes a mother's mind can be tainted by society and we may feel what we're doing is not enough or really no big deal at all, yet who else will raise our next generation? Who else will mold values, morals, and character? Who will groom noble men and women to take our place? Who will bring comfort to children when they need it? Who will nurse our children back to health when they are ill? What would the world be like without mothers? Just imagine it for a minute....remove yourself from your home....scary huh? MOTHERS ARE NEEDED, DESIRED, and REQUIRED!


I have to remind myself of the three very important roles I play and their priority. We are women first, a wife second, and mother third, however, our priorities are the opposite. We are usually mother first, wife second, woman (self) last. I’m a witness that if we place the roles in their correct order, the way they are expected, our lives go a lot smoother. We were created an individual woman first with needs, wants, desires, and a PURPOSE! Some of us can’t find ourselves beneath the motherhood and wife role! What are your hobbies, interests, and desires? Do you ever take time out to be the woman you were created to be? It’s also natural for us to place our children before our husbands, which is why a lot of marriages become stale. You’re probably asking how you are supposed to put a size 38 before a 4T? I’ve found out the hard way and will share at another time...stay tuned. Are you much different than you were before you got married? Does your husband often mention how you’ve changed? Do you find time to do some of the things you enjoy doing? Do you serve your children their meal before you serve your husband? Do you serve your husband at all? If you sometimes feel a little out of sync, check your order of priorities...it may be time for a little rearranging!

Zip It Up!

Why do I always have to be the peacemaker in my marriage? I guess this is the way God designed it. It’s very difficult for me to live in tension. When things aren’t right between my husband and me, peace making is my priority. Peace within myself and between the two of us. I like to have a disagreement or an argument and move on. Life goes on, so why can’t we? I thank God I don’t feel comfortable harboring ill feelings, and I definitely don’t take the credit for this! A lot of times, my mouth can get me in trouble and stir things up in my marriage that could have been prevented. I’m learning to just zip it up and things sure have been a lot more peaceful!! I’m not saying I don’t speak my mind because I do. I’m picking and choosing what I say and especially WHEN I say it and allowing God to groom me in this area of my life. No, it isn't easy by any means! I’ve been a wise mouth and quick at the lips all my life. As a child, my mother would literally pull my lips whenever I said something disrespectful or unkind. I wasn’t trying to be unkind, the words just came out! I usually don’t even think about what I’m going to say, I just say it. Maybe that’s the problem huh? My mouth, with that little piece of red dynamite called a tongue, has gotten me into so much trouble. When words leave our lips, they are planted in our children’s minds, our husband’s hearts, and in our guilt trunk if we have one. What a wonderful world this would be if some of us would just ZIP IT UP! What a peaceful marriage I'm experiencing because I'm learning to ZIP IT UP!

Is Mother's Day Really Happy?

Another Mother's Day is quickly approaching and it brings a sense of uneasiness to countless mothers. This is the one day out of the year where everyone is reminded to recognize the mother figure in their life... better yet, reminded they even have a mother. I know many mothers who are unhappy or disappointed each Mother's Day. It's such a sensitive day for the mere fact mothers really want and need to know they are appreciated for who they are and what they do. If that appreciation or expression of gratitude does not come, hearts are broken and they wait another year with high hopes of their family's proper acknowledgement. I remember one Mother's Day my family took me out for lunch and I was ecstatic because I hate to cook! It was an enjoyable meal, and I greatly appreciated my family's thoughtfulness, yet around dinner time, they were asking me what was for dinner! Excuse me? I felt like I was set up! I was perturbed, but I cooked, recovered and bounced back. Wasn't this supposed to be my special day?! Believe it or not, countless mothers experience similar special occasions...some don't get recognized at all. I no longer look for others to show appreciation for what I do; I recognize my value and my worth and my desire is to have all mothers realize their true worth, so when recognition doesn't come, we don't miss a beat. In my book, Mothers Day is everyday and we should celebrate ourselves and each other! Actually, this special day is really not about us; we have mothers also. Whether they are living or deceased, taking time out to acknowledge our mother or the mother figure in our life is what is important. Mothers have a high calling - we're caretakers of God's children. What an awesome responsibility that is! If I desire anyone's appreciation, it'll be of The Creator of all Mothers!