Hubby, come home!

Hubby was out of town this weekend and the boys EXHAUSTED me trying to negotiate rules! I have the utmost respect for single mothers. My home is different when hubby is here. When he says something, there are no questions asked! But noooo, they wanna wear me down and out! Whew! I'm glad it's over because I'm TIRED! I've never said this before, but I'm saying it today...."Wait til your father gets home!"

The good side of this is knowing they feel comfortable with me enough to plead their case. They know I'm not going to bite their head off.  When I grew up, I wasn't allowed to talk back AT ALL. My father had the nerve to tell me to let my sons express themselves. WHAT?!!  Man, you use to pull my lips and told me I was getting "wise" with you! Now you want me to allow my sons to have loose lips! LOL!

The transition from parent to grandparent is mind-blowing to me, truly it is.

Anyway, I'm reminded of the single mothers out there doing it alone and hats off to the fathers for your powerful presence in the home! 

I'll Die Writing

 When my children went to public school after nine years of homeschooling, I thought I would miss them dearly, and I did. Then I thought about the empty house and how much time I had to do what I love doing more than anything - write. Home alone! I have all day to write! WoooooHooooo! I thought that would be the case, but I actually still cook and clean and play Mom's taxi after school hours. I fit writing in between loads of laundry and vacuuming floors. I cook my meals between paragraphs and answering emails. I pay bills with each comma placement. My laptop follows me from room to room. She's my running buddy!

 Can writing be an addiction? I guess too much of anything can become an addiction, huh? I know, without a doubt, I'll probably die sitting at my computer. I LOVE to write. Writing is my lifeline. Blank paper and a blank Word document are my best friends and awesome listeners. I could write all day. I literally have to make myself take breaks from the computer to keep from damaging my eyes, tips of my fingers, neck, back, wrists, and even my brain!

I get paid to write, so I can justify the many hours I spend tapping away at my keyboard. I'm not rich, but I'm not trying to get rich. I wrote for free for YEARS and my giving is finally paying off. I'm rich with words and thoughts to put into words! My brain overflows with thoughts begging to get on paper. I write in my sleep. I write in the shower. I write while I'm driving. I write, write, write. Did I mention how much I love to write? There isn't enough lifetime for me to get all my words in, but I'm trying! I have tons of tablets and memo pads with my thoughts written down.

Oops! Time almost got away from me...I need to get the boys up and get breakfast on the stove. They've  got to get to school, so I can finish writing! I'm SO THANKFUL this love for writing didn't surface when the boys were younger. I'd surely be in jail for child neglect - no doubt!



  I heard a beautiful song yesterday while driving, and although it was a spiritual song, it reminded me of a mother’s love. The singer was thanking God for loving him through his good and his bad. I glanced at Firstborn and smiled. He is as sweet as he can be, yet he is a ripe teenager – full blown in teen essence. Firstborn’s rite of passage into his adult years is being used to groom me into a more loving person – not just a mother. 

It isn’t easy to love someone through their bad, but it’s possible. When someone has made unwise decisions and bad choices, judgment and criticism is automatic, but to show love often takes a minute. 

When I look back over my life at all my wrong doings, I can’t help but shake my head. I thank God my parents didn’t kill me when I was a teenager. I was sweet, but sneaky with a lot of mouth – my parents loved me through my bad. I thank God my husband hasn’t left me – I’m a good wife, but I’ve murdered hubby continually with my words and thoughts – he loves me through my bad. I thank God my few friends accept me for who I am – I hate the phone and I never call them – never.  Who am I to not love Firstborn or anyone else through their bad?  Love is patient and kind. Love is long suffering. Love bears and endures all things – ALL things…even the bad. Love goes against our natural reaction. I thought I knew what love was, but Firstborn is teaching me what love really is. It’s so easy to fuss, criticize, and get frustrated with others. Those reactions solve absolutely nothing, but love solves everything. Love never fails. Love conquers all.

Have You Seen My Shorts?

I wash, dry, fold, hang, and put away all my husband's clothes. Do I take pride in this? Absolutely not. Oh yea, I pick up his dirty clothes and also place his dirty uniforms in his work laundry bag. It's my job, right? 

I know I touched a few nerves with that one...I touched my own nerves! 

Granted, I work from home while he's out "busting his butt," so the least I can do is his laundry, right? Well, I don't mind doing it - really I don't. Laundry is a small task in my eyes. After all, I don't literally wash anything - the washing machine does.

My reason for this post is a question I have. If a sock gets lost or a pair of shorts are misplaced, is it my fault? One day, hubby asked if I had seen his black shorts. In my mind, I said, "I don't wear your shorts, so no, I haven't seen them." Hubby heard me say, "No, I haven't." A couple of days later, he asked, "Did you find my shorts?" Before I realized it, I snapped and said, "I haven't been looking for them!" Was I supposed to look for his shorts? I'm sure a good wife would have - I guess I'm not if looking for shorts is a prerequisite for being a "good" wife.  The lost pair of shorts are not underwear shorts, but a nice pair of black casual wear shorts. Anyway....I asked him if he looked in the closet and the chair where I sometimes throw laundry until I feel like hanging it up. He said he looked eeeeverywhere! My curiosity got the best of me, so I got up from my computer with a big sigh and went on a hunt for the shorts. Low and behold, the first place I looked, there they were - neatly placed on the back of the chair with a bunch of other clothes waiting to be put in their proper place. I held them up and asked if they were the shorts he was looking for. He examined them and held them out to see the size (no one in the house wears his size) and said, "Wow, they must have just gotten there, because I looked there." Really? Whatever!

Sometimes I wonder if husbands purposely can't find the food in the refrigerator or a single sock, or a tie on purpose. They think it's the wife's job to keep up with the clothes THEY wear. Hmmm....if I pick them up, wash them, dry them, fold them, and hang them, should I keep up with the whereabouts of these said clothing items?

I don't think anyone has the answer, wives just do what we do and we do it because we do. Now that I have completely confused myself, I hear the dryer buzzer going off...there's laundry to fold and put away!

Monday Meditation - You Won!

I fell asleep on the sofa last night watching the words on the computer screen blink, “You won!” It was from a card game hubby played and obviously won. I thought about the many things I’ve started in my life and chose not to finish. I can’t win unless I finish the game/task to the end. Hmmm…sounds like a commitment issue to me. I woke up at about 2:30 a.m. and the words were still flashing, “You won!” I prayed for a while then turned on the television. I heard a man say, “Don’t start something if you don’t intend to see it to the end.” GASP! He was talking about commitment! Coincidence? I don’t think so. He also mentioned the only thing we can control is our persistence. I turned the television off quickly; I got the message. 

I haven’t been committed in a lot of areas of my life. I’ve had thoughts of leaving my marriage instead of staying to the end. I’ve gotten tired of mothering my teenaged boys – whew, I get tired! I can’t tell you how many ideas I’ve started and walked away from. I don’t even cook on weekends because I got tired of cooking. The only way I can improve my commitment is to allow God to order my every step in every aspect of my life – to the end. This is the only way I’ll win, so all the superficial ideas and goals must cease. I don’t have time to waste time! I must focus on my purpose. This change I need to make begins with my commitment to God. I have to listen to His voice and not my own. Sounds simple, but even this takes commitment! Well, it’s another Monday and another chance to start anew. I can do this – we can do this – we can win…with God’s help! Have a winning Monday!