School Tragedies

If you follow this blog regularly, you know Firstborn transitioned from homeschool to public high school this year. His reading class reads news articles to find facts and improve vocabulary, and the above magazine article is one Firstborn brought home yesterday. Although this tragedy happened in 2000, it is still disturbing.

I'm happy Firstborn likes sharing the articles with me, but this one he could have kept to himself. His school has already experienced two deaths and a few accidents this year.

I think about Firstborn often while he is at school and wonder who he is with and what he's doing. On football game days, the team stays at school until game time. One particular game day, Firstborn was heavily on my mind and I had a disturbed feeling (mother's intuition) about him. Well, I prayed and anxiously awaited to see him later that evening at the game. When I saw him, I was so relieved, but still wondered why I had those uneasy feelings.

The next day, I found out that Firstborn was in the wrong place, at the wrong time, with the wrong crowd, but thank God he realized it before he got in trouble. I especially thank God for leading me to pray for him.

The boys and I pray together every morning and my prayers give me peace. I know I can't control what happens from day to day, but one thing I do know is the power of prayer. Knowing my family is covered in prayer and safely kept in God's hands lets this mama know everything is already alright - regardless of what happens at home or at school.

Are you praying for your children each day?

Unemployed

The layoff action where Hubby works has been quite active. Fortunately, Hubby hasn’t been laid off, but he’s been sent home early quite a few times. We thank God for whatever hours he does work.

I remind hubby that although he is the prime breadwinner for the family, he is by no means our sufficiency. Hubby is the designated provider, but God is the ultimate provider. It is because of God that we eat and have shelter. It is God who gives hubby the ability to go to work everyday.

Regardless of the state of our economy or our checking account crisis, I have to keep my eyes focused on God. The economy is too shaky and I need solid ground to stand on; I choose to believe someone bigger than us is in control.

Sunday morning, I read the background of Matthew, the tax collector, and how he left his job to follow Jesus. Jesus used Matthew’s skills of keeping accurate records for His own glory. We are no different today. Regardless of what our status of earthly employment is, God wants to employ us to bring Him glory using a skill, talent, or gift He has planted in us. Hubby is an excellent handyman and can repair anything, so if gets caught up in the layoff action, God has already blessed him with employment.

Even mothers often look for creative ways to supplement income in the home by using a talent or gift to generate income. I believe we all have one whether we use it or not. Just as Matthew stepped out on faith and followed Jesus, we must do the same. The key is to put God first and follow His plan, which often appears unusual, unclear, and especially unattainable.

Knowing God is taking care of our family is comforting to me. Just as children feel secure knowing we will meet their every need, our Heavenly Father wants us to have the same security and trust in Him.

Matthew 6:32,33 (NKJV)
...For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

What Are You Teaching?

Just because a woman has a baby doesn't mean she knows everything about being a mother. Although we were given natural nurturing instincts, we learn something new everyday. Our greatest resource for learning is each other. Our own mothers, the seasoned mothers in our life, and those wise women willing to share their experiences are precious gems to be treasured on our motherhood journey.

Raising Mothers is an e-newsletter published by Momsweb, which is another avenue to encourage and offer support. The name of the e-newsletter alone reminds us regardless of what stage of motherhood we're in, we're in this lifelong learning/teaching mode together.

Several bloggers have posts highlighted in the e-newsletter that offer an encouraging word. If you have an archive or recent blog post that can help another mother, simply follow Mom's Peace Bites to make your blog available.

We all have something to offer - single mothers, step mothers, foster mothers, divorced mothers, mothers of teens, mothers of toddlers, mothers of newborns, mothers of adopted children, mothers of adult children, and especially grandmothers who have already traveled the road ahead of us.

Our encouraging words are also shared with mothers-to-be and the women with a desire to one day be a mother. Have you thought about it? What are you teaching the younger woman? Share your life lessons!

Visit Raising Mothers today and pass the word!

TOUGH LOVE

I'm realizing my teenager doesn't need just love from me, he needs TOUGH LOVE.

Not the tough love we're familiar with, but I've been introduced to another form of TOUGH LOVE designed especially for me in dealing with my teen.

- This tough love is full of mercy when Firstborn makes a mistake.

- This tough love is full of compassion when Firstborn KNOWS he has made wrong choices.

- This tough love reminds me the part of his brain that recognizes consequences hasn't fully developed yet - Oh God, please help me!

- This tough love recognizes his right of passage into his teen years - he has to go through this!

- This tough love reminds me my child is not, has not been, and will never be perfect - really?

- This tough love tells me he wants to hang with the crowd and be popular when I tell him to dare to be different - Ha!

- This tough love helps me to bend a little and be flexible - I'm too strict, stern, and straight-laced

- This tough love reminds me that in Firstborn's eyes, I'm OLD and haven't a clue of what's going on in his world - Well, I don't!

- This tough love reminds me not to become shocked, angry, tearful, or hurt by Firstborn's normal adolescent behavior - I'll just wear a bag over my head

- This tough love pops me in the head and says..."Get a grip, Mama! You've got an eleven year old coming up behind Firstborn, so get ready for the ride!"

Mothers of younger children...take heed!

We Snap in Silence

Second-born – “Mama, do you need someone to go with you?”

Me – “Sweetie, Mama is trying to get away from you guys, but thank you!”

This was a short conversation I had with my thoughtful, compassionate second-born son before I left the house Friday night.

Friday was a full day ending an extremely demanding week, and I felt the walls closing in on me. Every room I went to had something that needed my attention - cleaning. The boys’ bedroom reminded me of a battle I lost, Hubby was out of town renewing his own mind, and my hormones were trying to get the best of me. I was hungry, so I went to the refrigerator. Lucky for me, I noticed it also needed cleaning, so I did what I needed to do.

I purchased a pizza for the boys and I left the house. I ended up at a local restaurant - alone. There weren't many people there and I thoroughly enjoyed hearing my own thoughts and myself chew. Ahhh…thank you, Jesus!

It’s amazing how something so simple can give a woman the energy and strength to go on. I simply needed a change in my environment and instead of taking it out on the boys or my husband for not being there for me, I needed to take care of myself; I needed to renew my mind and get back to my secret place of peace - God's perfect peace.

We (women) are notorious for pushing ourselves to the limit. We just keep going, and going, and going and before you know it, we’ve snapped.

Friday was my reminder to take a break. This simple act of loving myself carried me through the rest of the weekend – in peace.

I invite you to read more about taking care of our self and the shameful consequences of neglecting our self. Of course, this isn’t something you don’t already know, but I’m making it plain in a book God has allowed me to write titled, We Snap in Silence, which is now available.
In this book, I part the curtains to my own life and pray you will read with benefit.

Proverbs 3:17 (NKJV)
Her ways are ways of pleasantness, And all her paths are peace.

He'll Learn

Firstborn has a job to cut a neighbor's yard every other Friday. If he's busy on Friday, he cuts the grass on Saturday morning. Well, yesterday was Friday and there wasn't a lawn mower to be seen. Firstborn had absolutely nothing to do, but he was nice enough to let the neighbor know his grass would be cut in the morning.

I wanted to tell him to go ahead and cut the grass anyway, but this was a wonderful lesson for him in time management and procrastination. Well, it's Saturday morning and guess what? It's pouring down rain. I asked Firstborn how he felt about not cutting the grass on yesterday and his reply was, "I don't know. How should I feel?' Glaaaad you asked, son!

In my most lovingly motherly voice, I shared with him the popular phrase about putting off for tomorrow what we can do today. I tried my best not to preach or talk at him, but to talk to him and pour another valuable lesson in his back pocket. I even slipped in a quick lesson on keeping his word and responsibility and then I shut up. I have a bad habit of being long-winded with the boys, but this time was short and to the point. I didn't want to lose his attention; after all....he asked!

It's hard for a mother to stand by and watch her children make mistakes and wrong choices, but at a certain age in their life, we must stand on the sidelines and hope all our coaching will resurface. A mother will always offer suggestions and advice, but at the same time allow them to make their own decisions.

Hopefully, Firstborn has learned his lesson. Not only is the neighbor's yard not cut, but Firstborn won't get paid the money he was expecting this weekend. Ha! He'll learn!

The Winner Is...

The actual release date of We Snap in Silence is September 21st.

Lara of 60 Seconds of Motherhood guessed September 20th.

Congratulations, Lara!

Because Lara and I live in the same city, she feels she had an advantage, but she really didn't; the date is not printed anywhere.

I couldn't convince her that she won the book honestly and Lara wants to give the book away and purchase her own, so hurry over to her blog and maybe she'll give it to you (lol).

Thank you all for entering and thanks more for your support!

Last Day to Enter!

Win a Free Copy of We Snap in Silence

by Momsweb Founder, LaVender Williams

Click to Enter

Mom Wars Must Cease!

I receive some of the most insensitive comments from mothers about being a...okay, I'll say it....a Stay at Home Mother. Not only do I dislike that term with a passion, but I'm not even sure I want to be associated with this group anymore.

The comments are not from mothers who work outside the home, but from mothers at home! Funny huh?

Most mothers don't know I started Momsweb as a mother working outside the home. Yes, Momsweb began when I was in the Navy. Yes, I left my children everyday to go to work. Yes, I had a career. Yes, I chose to juggle my family and career. There...I said it.

One of the most recent comments I received was about how I made the decision to put my family first because I'm at home. Soooo, does that mean I didn't put my family first while I was working? Hmmm...

I see why the Mom Wars continue because we don't think before we open our mouths. We may not realize it, but some of our comments may come across with a self righteous attitude. What about the Single Mother who has to go to work everyday? What about the wife with a husband on disability and can't work? What about the mother trying to help her husband put her son through college?

The purpose of this post is not only to get this off my chest, but to remind mothers who stay home to be careful of the words you (we) choose. We are all in this together - we are all MOTHERS loving our children the best we know how. We all fall short of what God expect of us. The choices we make should not interfere with our love and acceptance of each other as we share the world's greatest, hardest, most challenging and rewarding role...THE MOTHER.

Monday Meditation - I Need You

As most mothers do with their children, I try to let Firstborn and Secondborn know I am always here for them. If they ever need help with anything, they know they can ask Mama.

Well, my proud words were recently put to the test!

Secondborn was on the computer attempting to enter a contest and I was in the kitchen cooking. I can easily monitor the computer from the kitchen and I usually don’t have to stop what I’m doing if he needs help, but this particular day was different.


For some reason, Secondborn needed more help than I was willing to give with this awkward contest form. I tried to continue cooking while answering his questions, but only allowed myself to get agitated because I was tired of being interrupted. I wanted to finish cooking and get out of the kitchen and he wanted to complete his contest form, so he could click the submit button.

He thought his task was important and I thought mine was more important.

I failed at trying to hide my frustration of being interrupted, but this didn’t stop him from asking for help. After receiving several 'wait a minutes' from me, he says in his most helpless voice, “Mama, I need your help.” I came out of the kitchen, sat next to him, and helped him complete his contest form.


We completed the form and he smiled as he clicked the submit button. He was relieved and Lord knows I was also.

I haven’t been able to get Secondborn’s voice out of my head. I hear him saying over and over, “Mama, I need you. Mama, I need you.” Children depend on mothers more than we'll ever know. We've got to let them know we 'have their backs' - especially as they grow older.

My earlier agitation for not wanting to be disturbed only made me think of my Heavenly Father and the countless children He has needing His help. WOW!

I’m so thankful God is always available to me. I’m so thankful God doesn’t tire of me calling His name. I’m so thankful He is never too busy for my constant pleas for help. I’m even more thankful that God is nothing like me. Not only will he help me, but he knows what I need before I ask! What an awesome example of parenting!


Today, the old, popular hymn, "I Need Thee Every Hour" rings in my head as I try to remember to be a mother that is available - not agitated.

Matthew 6:8(NKJV)
For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him.

Contest - Win We Snap in Silence

To celebrate the upcoming release of We Snap In Silence, I've decided to have a book giveaway!

To win a free copy of the book, simply follow Mom's Peace Bites and leave a comment guessing the release month and date of the book.

The person guessing the date closest to the release date wins!

Hint - It's this year

Deadline - Thursday Sep. 17th

Monday's Meditation on Tuesday

Visiting my parents takes me to another place - a place where I let my guards down. I'm in a completely relaxed, safe, loving, and fun environment. A few times, I even forgot I had children - they were upstairs playing with their cousins - out of sight and out of mind. Yep, I let my guards waaaay down.

I let my guards down so far that I even forgot about posting the MOMSWEB Monday Meditation! My goodness, to forget something so near and dear to me is almost unbelievable, but like I said, my relaxed state of mind took me to another place - away from familiar surroundings and my normal routine.

Of course, I took these low guards to another level and allowed a life lesson to surface. I realized what I experienced is similar to what children (especially teenagers) may go through when they enjoy something as simple as going to the movies, the mall, or just hanging out with friends. Their good time can lead to letting their guards down. These guards can be manners, morals, values, and even the memory of who they are and whose they are. Being comfortable and having fun, without being aware, can lead to unwise choices and forgetfulness of acceptable behavior.

It's almost like going on vacation and forgetting your exercise and healthy eating regime - it just happens!

This is a valuable lesson for me and a beneficial lesson to share with children. God knows how children can act when they are out of their parent's sight. We pray they don't embarrass us and that they remember what they've been taught. This is another reminder to continually teach them right from wrong and to start this teaching in their young years.

Well, now you know why Monday's meditation is being shared on this Tuesday. This is one Life Lesson for LaVender that I pray I will never forget.

Proverbs 22:6 (NKJV)

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.

What's In Your Locker?

Since Firstborn started public school, I've always wondered what was in his locker.

He perfectly fits the mold of the messy teenager with the completely dirty, sloppy, smelly room, so I feared what his school locker would look and smell like.

He's on the football team and I hardly ever see his practice shorts, sooooo are they in the locker smelling up the hallway? Maybe gum and candy wrappers with a trail of ants coming from outside? Perhaps important papers I need to sign or phone numbers from pestering little girls?

This is a picture of him opening his locker on Orientation Day. I had him open it twice to make sure he could get it open. They only have a few minutes to get from one class to another, so Protective Mama was going to make sure firstborn gets to class on time without excuses.

Well, recently I asked what he was keeping in his locker and guess what? Orientation Day was the first and last time firstborn has opened his locker. He's been carrying his books around from class to class in his backpack. Tooo funny! He said the locker was stuck and didn't want to take a chance at being late for his classes, so he doesn't even use it.

Poor baby, his parents have put the fear of tardiness in his mind, so he's probably too nervous to take his time to open the locker that probably isn't stuck at all. Good grief!

What am I going to do about it? Not a thing...at least I know his locker is clean!

By the way, he's enjoying public school and is quite excited about it all. He's doing well in all his classes and doesn't seem to miss his Mama or homeschooling at all. Darn!