247 Service Days Left

Bookmark and Share

My TracFone keeps me updated on my minutes and service days left.  The numbers continually scroll at the bottom of the screen, and right now, I have 274 service days left and 22.40 minutes. Those minutes will last me another month, but the service days are what I paid attention to. I thought about myself in one of the old, black and white Twilight Zone movies and realizing I had 274 service days left on Earth. When my service days run out, my service to my marriage, family, community, job, and to the world will be accounted for.  

As I sat last night, sipping my hot tea and thinking about my 274 service days, I could only look back at my service days already completed. I’ve served all of my life. Sometimes grudgingly, but I served. Sometimes expecting a little in return, but I served. I’ve served while sick, and sometimes while unhappy, but I served. No doubt about it, my life has been one of service. I don’t think this is just my story, but isn’t it a woman’s nature to serve? It’s what we do – serve.  The military service members aren’t the only ones serving, so are we! We serve our country everyday as we raise and nurture tomorrow’s leaders. We serve as peacemakers in the many relationships we find ourselves in. 

What will I do with my remaining 274 service days left? It’s hard to say when I know I can pay to add more service days, but in real life, each of us has an unknown number of service days left. Instead of focusing on the number of days left, let’s just live each day taking advantage of new service opportunities every day. The world would probably crumble without the service of a woman, wife, and mother. We live to serve! 

The Thank You Letter

Bookmark and Share

Firstborn’s birthday was last week and he asked me to bake a cheesecake for him.  Along with the made-from-scratch cheesecake, I wrote him a thank you letter. I’ve depended on him for so much in the past few months and although I still have to remind him to take out the trash, he’s been my right hand and my brain. While walking by his room, I noticed the letter was hanging up. I laughed and told him to take it down, and his reply was, “No! I love that letter. It almost made me cry.” Wow, really? It was a letter from my heart, but I had no idea it would mean so much to him. 

Firstborn’s reaction to the letter, at nineteen years old, moved me to begin writing more thank you notes – not for special occasions, but just because. Yes, I say thank you when I’m supposed to, but sometimes those thank you comments seem rushed, rehearsed, or expected – it’s what we do. I can’t remember the last time I wrote a thank you note to a friend, to my parents, to my sisters, to my pastor, a co-worker, or even a neighbor.  For those who are married, a thank you note to your spouse would probably set the day off! 

This season of Thanksgiving is the perfect time to sit and hand write some thank you notes – just because.  Yes, it will take time and cost money for stamps, but a genuine thank you is priceless. Firstborn’s cheesecake is just about gone (there were two), but his letter remains hanging in his room and the words will hang on his heart for a long time. Since I don’t have your address, I’d like to say THANK YOU for your support, your words of encouragement, your kind replies and thoughtfulness. There would be no Momsweb without you.  

Own Your Happy!

Bookmark and Share

I was in my bedroom last night dancing to R Kelly’s, Happy People. It doesn’t matter if I’m at work, at home, or driving, when I hear that song, I move. I love to dance anyway and haven’t danced in a while, so last night I made up for it. I didn’t dance for exercise, I danced because I was happy, so what better song than Happy People? I found the song on YouTube and played it over, and over, and over again. What was I so happy about? Nothing in particular - just life itself. Yes, I have a lot going on in my life. Yes, I’m experiencing a season I never thought I’d be in during my golden years, but I’m happy! The more I played the song, the happier I felt. I was in my own happy world.
I didn’t think about anything in particular, yet I pictured myself in a large ballroom wearing a beautiful, flowing skirt that twirled with my every move. I imagined other people around me dancing, but I was center stage dancing alone and happy. Why not be happy? I may encounter seemingly, unhappy circumstances that I can’t control, but I can sure control my outlook, and I choose happy! I refuse to give my happy away – my happy is mine!
A few of the words in the song are: What is it that can come and take away all your stress, tell me – music. No further questions, you have passed my test. Happy people (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah) keeps the world turnin', turnin', turnin'. Oh I believe that happy people (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah) Keep us dancin', dancin', dancin'.
 Naturally, I woke up with the song on my mind, and it reminded me that I have something even more powerful than my happy. I have joy! I started my day with prayer, praise, and yes…dancing. Why? Because I’m happy!
 Listen to the song and own your happy!

Your Job Description

Bookmark and Share

Remembering Childbirth

Bookmark and Share

Submitted by Kimberly Allison, OK

The other morning, I gave my oldest son a big birthday hug and began to reminisce to him: "26 years ago today, I was in a hospital room, screaming my brains out, wanting to kill someone..." I glanced at the clock and realized it was about the time that he was born. My mind started drifting back to that first birthing experience. The horror of it… All of a sudden, my eye started twitching (which happens when I get nervous), and I started feeling queasy... I felt like I was going to throw up! Those trips down memory lane can go south so quickly! I had to snap back to the present and just say, “Happy Birthday!” OMG!

I Used To Be Like You

By Lisa Ekanger, Advice Coach
Kind Journey

I used to be like you. 
I used to try to keep my home perfect, my kids perfect, and my life perfect.  I used to be obsessed with keeping the house clean, the clothes washed, the groceries bought.  I used to go to ALL of the school events and work so hard to discover ALL of the opportunities that were available to me, my kids, and ALL of us as a family. For a lot of years it worked, and I felt like I was making progress...I felt as though I had accomplished something.  I lived that way until I was 40 years old.  Then, something happened right around my 40th birthday. I looked in the mirror and said to myself, you can never get those 40 years back.  I asked myself, “Were they mostly good?" "Which ones would you repeat if you could?"
I took inventory and decided that the best years of my life were spent laughing with friends and family.  The best years of my life weren’t because of any particular set of circumstances, or where I lived, or how much money I made, or what I owned. As the years passed and I collected experiences, I also found myself falling into the expected path. The one that is accepted by our society, by our culture.  Married, 2 kids, 1 boy and one girl...a house in the burbs.
As the years passed and I had more money and more things, I also observed that my stress level was rising too. I observed less laughter as I reviewed those years of my life. It wasn’t easy getting back to me. It was one step forward two steps back for sure.  My decision to reclaim me was deliberate and very slow. Now almost 8 years later, I can say I am about 65% of the way to reclaiming me. I pushed down the obsessive thoughts reminding me to clean the house, water the plants and bath the dogs. It took several years to be able to just walk past a mess, go to bed with dishes in the sink and RELAX.  I even bought a little sign that hangs prominently in my office; it says RELAX.
 I wondered what I was racing toward? Doing more, and more, and more for everyone around me just left me more, and more, and more empty and exhausted. Time for boundaries! I said goodbye to everyone. I said goodbye to my old relationships to people, and set out on a new course. Addressing them one at a time...and reminding myself ALL the way through, "YOU WILL NEVER GET THIS TIME BACK!" I said goodbye to my church, many so called friends, family, and my old marriage. The work isn’t complete, as you probably guessed; the hardest changes are the ones that stare you in the face on a daily basis...which makes the marriage improvement one of the very hardest challenges to take on. You might think I’ve abandoned my responsibilities, you may even think I’m being selfish. I would say to you, "I simply do not care what you think." And I don’t mean that in a snotty or bitchy way. I am selfish!  Because if I don’t take care of me, there will be no me. 
My positive contributions to the world will be done and I’m not ready to be done! I embarked on this self-improvement around 40, I read about meditation and free-thinking. I practiced yoga and now daily Zen.  I never dreamed that by allowing them in, they would park themselves in my heart whether I liked it or not.  They bathed my heart in peace and I had no choice but to practice the very thing that flooded me. I am at peace as I approach my 50th milestone.  When others attempt to pull me into their drama, I just release the stress. It is not my problem. I didn’t create this world. I didn’t create the conditions that freak you out.  I only can control me and how I react to the things that freak me out!  That’s ALL.
 I haven’t signed off. I’m more plugged into my presence and my contribution then I have ever been before. My days are long and wonderful and full of life, laughter and meaning. Do I have down moments?  Yes. But I don’t allow them to linger for very long. I am very good at brooming them away. Instead of cleaning the outside of my world, I am now obsessed with cleaning the inside of my soul. #lifeisgood

I Feel a Stirring

Yesterday, I watched my sons and several other boys play basketball in the driveway. I not only watched the intense games, but I noticed how each boy had grown up over the years. While in the Navy, I was used to moving every two or three years, but I’ve been in this city for over ten years. I’m grateful Firstborn and Secondborn had the opportunity to develop life-long friends and relationships. I’ve enjoyed it also, but it’s time to go. My spirit is stirring for a different view.

This same stirring of my spirit occurred about three years before I was supposed to retire. I knew I was being prepared to go in a different direction in my life. Now, two years before Secondborn graduates from high school, the stirring of the spirit is back. I’m being prepared to move into another direction. For a while, I’ve been talking to my husband and sons about moving to the mountains. I want to move to a place where nobody knows my name, and experience waking up to the nakedness of nature and all its beauty. I don’t know how long I’ll stay, but I definitely want to experience it – alone.

I’ve cooked, cleaned, washed, disciplined, home schooled, cheered, transported, nursed, sexed, helped, served and sacrificed, and now it’s time to play the ‘me’ card, and head to the mountains. I don’t want to be like a woman I spoke with this weekend, who is just realizing, in her sixties, that she needs to take care of herself. Hmph, it’s time to go! Sound selfish? Well, it’s time to be selfish and take care of my temple. I’ve poured out for my family, unselfishly, for almost twenty years.

 I don’t know about you, but the ‘me’ card is looking pretty good. A different view invites a different me. I welcome the stirring.

Bookmark and Share

Will the REAL Moms Please Stand Up!

Bookmark and Share

I spoke with a young mother this weekend, and asked her if she was enjoying motherhood. She hesitated, but replied that she loved her daughter. I thanked her for being honest, and told her motherhood isn’t always enjoyable. I told her it’s best to be real about how she felt instead of faking it, and the young mother began to cry. I gave her a hug and told her I understood because I had been there, done that, and have two t-shirts to prove it. Hmph…sometimes I go there now and I’ve been a mother for eighteen years. 

It’s so important for women to be real and unmask when we speak with other wives and mothers. How in the world are they supposed to see the power of God in our lives and give them hope if we always look and act like we have it all together?  It’s hard being a loving mother 24/7, and it’s okay to say that you sometimes get tired of your children. Saying it doesn’t remove an ounce of love we have for them! Will the REAL moms please stand up! 

If everyday in the motherHOOD was easy, we wouldn’t need God to comfort us. If we never cried, we wouldn’t need God to wipe away our tears. If we didn’t feel like we were burdened, we wouldn’t need God to cast our cares upon. Can I Be Real? A perfect mother does not exist. We all have struggles, meltdown moments, and some have crying spells. We just have to pray for strength and power to endure and take it one day at a time – one step at a time. We have to stay connected to our power source, and remember that He promised to never leave us. No, it’s not going to be alright, it’s already alright! 

Stay strong, hold on, and keep it REAL!

Now Available on Kindle


Bookmark and Share

One More Day

 Snooze, snooze, snooze was my mindset this morning. I kept pressing the snooze button, which is rare for me because I usually wake up with the chickens; however I knew I would have difficulty waking this morning since I went to bed extremely late. With each press of the snooze button, I knew I was also inviting a day of rushing out the door. Unfortunately, I wasn’t thanking God for one more day, but wishing I had one more day to sleep in. After the third snooze press, I began to feel guilty for my poor time management. I took it a step further and realized I wasn’t being a good steward of God’s time. 

 It’s a shame how much time I waste doing things that don’t matter. My snoozing also reminded me of the mental space I waste sitting and thinking of things I can’t control. If I allowed my thoughts to be consumed with an attitude of gratitude, I wouldn’t have time to mumble and grumble. If I allowed my thoughts to be consumed with the Giver of life, I wouldn’t have time to think about those who try to suck the life out of me. If I maintained thoughts of productivity, I wouldn’t have time to entertain procrastination. Life can be simple, but my choices make me wonder about some of my life occurrences. 

I’m getting older, so I don’t have time to snooze or procrastinate. I have one more day to get it right - one more day to do better than I did on yesterday - one more day to have an attitude of gratitude! I was blessed with one more day, so why not be a good steward of my minutes and my mind? How about you? What will you do with your one more day? It begins with a choice!

Bookmark and Share

Menopause and Other Mess

Don't wait til you go through perimenopause or menopause to understand it, BE PREPARED!

Like us on Facebook - Menopause and Other Mess

REAL Housewives vs Reality TV Housewives


visit www.lavenderwilliams.com to pre-order your discounted copy of

Can I Be Real? Reflections of a REAL Housewife

I Don't See You!

I spent time with my mother over the weekend, and one particular morning, I started speaking to her before I was in her presence. She tried to follow my voice, and said, “I hear you, but I don’t see you.” I replied, “This is God.” We laughed and talked about how we can’t see God, yet we feel Him, hear Him, depend on Him, follow Him, and even trust Him. It’s those moments of going through troubled times that we doubt His presence. I’ve been through enough in my life to know God is present regardless of how turbulent my storm is, or how I’m feeling.  

My flesh lies to me and makes me doubt God’s presence, so I have to be careful not to allow my wavering emotions to consume me and become strongholds. Those strongholds pull me away from what I know in the depths of my soul – that my God is real and He promised to never leave me. One of my favorite verses is John 15:4 - Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. When I am fully aware of God’s Spirit in me, my days are better. When I’m consciously aware of His presence throughout my day, my joy is full. It’s those days when I’m into my Self that I have issues with my thoughts and actions – yucky days. 

Abiding with God minute by minute makes a huge difference, and it begins with a simple thought of His presence – it’s that easy. Mothers wear many hats and it’s easy to feel frustrated and agitated, but remembering God’s presence, His perfect plan and timing makes our many loads lighter. We may not see Him or hear Him, but He’s always there! Have a marvelous Monday abiding in Him.

No Regrets

Mother's Day is 
Every Day!!!

Here we go again. Time to watch our once a year celebration commercialized with the advertising of jewelry and flowers. In all the years I’ve been a mother, I’ve never received jewelry or flowers. Well wait a minute – I think I did receive a necklace one year. Hmmm…where is that necklace? I think it was a heart-shaped locket! Another year, I didn’t get anything, and I remember the year they took me to brunch and I had to cook dinner later that evening. 

Of course all those celebrations were spearheaded by my husband – I appreciate his efforts, but the one present my husband gave me that I will forever be grateful for is his sperm. Sounds gross, but that sperm gave me two sons and the gift of motherhood - my greatest joy and my biggest challenge. I’m two years short of an empty nest, and it went by like a blur, but I enjoyed all of it – the challenges, the tears, the joy, the fatigue, the frustrations, the dirty diapers, the broken curfews, and even the tree in the backyard they think is full of money - children are expensive! 

My younger sister and I had a long conversation about mothering and we came to the conclusion that the only way to mother without regrets is to do our part to the best of our ability. There is no right way or wrong way. There is no perfect mothering style and no perfect child to raise. There is no secret potion to keep them out of trouble, and no words to keep them pure. They’ll lie to us, somehow embarrass us, and maybe act like they were raised in the wilderness, but as long as we do our part and mother to the best of our ability, there will be no regrets because our best is all we can do. 

Mother’s Day may come once a year, but we know it’s a 24/7 job, so celebrate and encourage yourself every day! Happy Mother’s Day!

Homrmone Guide

MOMSWEB May Giveaways

Every wife/mother is entitled to having a bad day, a valley moment, or a pity party. Sometimes you just need 5 minutes to whine, regroup, and get over it.

LIKE the MOMSWEB Facebook page for a chance to win a 

5 to Whine Care Package

Don't Wait!

I was speaking to a woman over the weekend who is a home health care provider. She was looking tired as usual, so I shared how I’ve incorporated a few, basic yoga poses into my exercise regime and how much more energy I have. Trust me, the positions are so basic, they shouldn’t even be considered yoga, and I know I’m not doing them 100% correctly, but it works! 

Before you let your mind run away with you, I don’t chant or mediate to other gods while I do my simple yoga; I’m stretching and focusing on my breathing, which allows more oxygen into my lungs and delivers more energy. Anyway, the woman mentioned she couldn’t wait until she retired, so she could take care of herself. Before I knew it, I laughed out loud, and couldn’t stop. I asked her if she knew how funny her statement sounded and said, “You have to wait until you retire before you take care of yourself? You might be dead, or too old and stiff to stretch!” 

Why do we (women), spend our entire life taking care of others without pouring into ourselves? I’ve said it a thousand times…before we can take care of others, we have to first take care of ourselves, or we’re left tired and easily agitated. It doesn’t take much to love on ourselves every morning - stretch, drink water, take vitamins, meditate and pray, look in the mirror and encourage ourselves. Can I be real? Even dogs know to stretch when they wake up, and believe it or not, there is a yoga pose called the dog stretch. Let’s face it. 

A woman is called to serve; yet we have to be sweetly selfish enough to take care of our temples first, and not wait until it’s too late

Mother Nature Knows Best

 There is a lot of talk about the weather these days. It’s supposed to be spring, but there is snow, ice, heat, and rain from coast to coast. Each state is experiencing their own “spring” weather, and some cities, like mine, are experiencing all four seasons in one day. The funny thing is how we expect spring to invite warm weather. Of course, it usually does, but Mother Nature is showing us that she can do what she wants, when she wants and how. She can also change her mind mid day without explanation. The key is to be grateful for another day regardless of the weather. 

The weather is similar to life – as it changes, we have to just go with the flow. Weather is unpredictable, and so is life, so unless we learn to adapt and adjust, we’ll live a miserable and frustrated life. Father Time and Mother Nature work together; and our only job in their process, is to be content in whatever season of life we’re in. Yes, the calendar says it’s spring, yet someone is going through a storm, someone else may be experiencing the happiest day of their life, someone else is grieving, someone is sick, someone’s health has been restored, someone is being born, and someone is dying. 

Life happens, and the best way to enjoy it is to not expect a sunny day everyday, but be grateful for each and every day. We set ourselves up for disappointment by looking for the sun. The rain is needed on Earth and in our lives, and aren’t we more grateful for the sunny days after the rain has left? It all works together. This spring weather may not make any sense to us, but it makes perfect sense to the One who creates it. Have a marvelous spring day!



It’s been a while since I traveled to Alabama to see my family, so Secondborn and I hit the highway this weekend. As usual, I noticed the beautiful, colorful trees lining the highway, but this time I pointed the beauty out to Secondborn. I didn’t want him to miss what I was seeing. I wanted him to take notice of the changing of colors and seasons in the beautiful trees. I related awareness of the trees to awareness of life.  We can continue to drive by the trees and focus on our destination, but we’ll miss the beauty the trees behold. Life is the same. I can continue focusing on my goals, dreams, and desires and miss the beauty of life happening all around me – the changing seasons of life, and the lessons and beauty they hold. 
Even today as I drive within my city, I should focus more on my journey rather than my destination. Most of the time, I’m rushed, so beauty isn’t on my mind, but getting where I have to go is; therefore, I miss my journey.  If I’m not careful, I’ll miss the journey of life by rushing to always meet the demands of others or feeling like my life is not fulfilled. It’s so easy to fill life with meaningless events. Life is fulfilled when we fill it with the One who created it! He is the source of our joy and fulfillment – nothing and nobody else can fulfill us like He can. I hear older people say all the time, “Life passed me by.” This is scary; I don’t want life to pass me by. Life is like a vapor – here one minute and gone the next. Let’s embrace this quickly-disappearing vapor called life. Let’s slow down and look at life happening all around us. Let’s recognize the journey – not the destination.

Mom, Get Out Of The Way!

“…and when you begin to see that person in the middle of a difficult and painful struggle, don’t try to prevent it, but pray that his difficulty will grow even ten times stronger until no power on earth or in hell could hold him away from Jesus Christ.” 

The above quote is an excerpt of my devotional reading this morning. I had to share it because it’s the exact opposite of what I do when I see my child, husband, or any loved one going through a difficult time. As caretakers, women naturally want to take care of a situation. We want to fix it and make it better. It’s hard watching someone go through a storm and if we don’t step in, it appears we don’t care, but the devotional is saying that we get in God’s way and try to be “amateur providences” in the lives of others. Ouuuch!  I remember my mother saying, “If I could live your life for you, I would.” I believe most mothers feel this way, but we have to learn when to get out of the way. This is one of the hardest things for me because I feel like I’m called to protect my children from falling, and to be a helper to my husband. In reality, instead of helping, I’m hindering them from a closer walk with their real Helper! 

We are called to help and protect to a certain degree, and then allow God to be God. Sometimes I go overboard with my help. Mama can’t always come to the rescue – although this mama tries to. My phrase is, “Call me if you need me!” I guess we need to establish a balance – recognizing the limitations of our earthly role, while realizing the magnitude of God’s power. Bottom line - know when to get out of the way!

Who Is That?

Years ago, when Firstborn was just a toddler, I remember pointing at the television, and asking him who the person on the screen was. Firstborn’s reply, with amazement in his eyes, was, “Jesus!”  Of course he had never seen Jesus or even a fictitious picture of him, but he associated the person with Jesus because Jesus was the only conversation Firstborn ever heard from this person.  This “Jesus” was my previous pastor in San Diego, California, Pastor Timothy J. Winters, who went home to be with the Lord over the weekend. Since I heard of his passing, I keep thinking about Firstborn’s association with this great man of God. Wouldn’t it be nice to be associated with such a loving person as Jesus? 

I wonder who I’m associated with? I laugh when I think about this because my walk is far from being like Jesus – more like the wicked witch of the East. Pastor Winters was, without a doubt, a true servant and friend of God’s. He wasn’t a perfect man, but he strived for perfection and his walk was so focused that it inspired others to follow Jesus’ example also. Pastor Winters’ words frequently rewind in my head as they obviously did for my young toddler so many years ago. Hmmm…what words do I leave for others to marinate on? Pastor Winters gave me pre-marital counseling, and financial teaching every first Sunday, but most of all, he taught Jesus in his expository style of preaching. Pastor Winters recently retired, but his words are still working.

Think about it…regardless if we use our words to gripe or gossip or to encourage and edify, the words we choose will go before us and define our character, and linger on after we’re long gone. We are what we speak! Thank you, Pastor Winters for not compromising your words or worship. Your legacy lives on.

The Sarge In Me

Friday evening, I asked Secondborn if he finished reading his book for a project due this morning. He told me he had a few pages to go. I was surprised because Secondborn doesn’t like to read. Secondborn’s answer didn’t settle well with this mama. The title of the book is, Bucking the Sarge, so I asked him who Sarge was. He said it was a lady. I asked what branch of the military she was in. He said he didn’t know. This mama knew Secondborn didn’t read his book. I finally got him to admit his “few pages” were actually over one hundred pages. Nevertheless, Secondborn was on lockdown, and we spent the entire weekend reading to each other. His project was to create a game based on the book, so he named his game, Sargeisms. 

By the way, Sarge was not only a lady, but a mean, cold, in-your-face, rich mother whose son’s friends mocked her ways and words for fun; they were also afraid of her. Hmmm…am I anything like Sarge? I told Secondborn he would thank me later for making him buckle down and read the book. Sometimes a mother has to be a Sarge and do what’s necessary. Our children may dislike us for our decisions, but will appreciate us later. Children, from toddlers to teenagers, sometimes need a Sarge to help set priorities, focus, and to do the right thing. 

As mothers, we have to stay on top of our children, behind them, and in front of them. Sarge’s son ended up taking all her money and leaving the city; Sarge was tough. Hmmm…was the book for me? Well, I enjoyed it and the ending reminded me that when I turn into Sarge, to always show love in my actions – it makes a difference. There can be a sensitive, sensible side to the Sarge in me, too!

Through the Fire

I thought quite a bit about a certain someone yesterday. After seeing her pretty face in my mind several times, I finally caught the clue to pray for her. She’s getting married soon, so I prayed for any last minute preparations she had going on. I don’t think anyone knows the real deal about marriage unless someone tells them. Most of us found out on our own after we made our vows before God and a few witnesses. Well, you know me. I’ll tell you the real deal plus some!

Marriage is a beautiful union between two people who really don’t know each other, but love each other so much they are willing to go through the fire of love to get to know each other after saying, “I do.” Of course that definition didn’t come until after I had been married a few years. I’ve shared my marriage on several occasions through these meditations, so it’s no secret that my marriage has spent a lot of time in the fire. I prayed for this certain someone more than once and at midnight thirty last night, she was on my mind again; so I prayed again.  This time, I didn’t pray for last minute wedding preparations, but that God would prepare her mind, her body, and her soul for her walk through the fire of love.

As I write this, Chaka Khan’s song, Through the Fire chorus lyrics come to mind…Through the fire, to the limit, to the wall. For a chance to be with you I'd gladly risk it all. Through the fire, through whatever, come what may. For a chance at loving you, I'd take it all the way. Right down to the wire. Even through the fire. Beautiful, isn’t it? Marriage is beautiful also as long as we realize it’s required to go THROUGH the fire. There is no walking around it, jumping over it, or avoiding it. A marriage must go through the fire for love to be tested and tried.

As always, I remind women that my words on marriage exclude relationships involving mental, verbal, or physical abuse. Don’t go through the fire, get out of the fire! Run!

Have a marvelous week and stay covered (in prayer) as you go through your fire of love.


It’s been three weeks since I joined my Mastermind Group for Authors, and I’ve already noticed a difference in my writing productivity. I joined because I wanted to be around people who were as serious about writing as I was. I needed to be surrounded by others who would hold me accountable for writing because I wasn’t being disciplined enough on my own. I’m not afraid to acknowledge my weaknesses, and I know the strength in others helps me stay on track. Not only is there a mastermind group for writers, but there can be one for whatever your craft is – business owner, gardener, exercising, etc…

Being around like-minded writers pulls me, stretches me, pushes me, and challenges me to write beyond my comfort zone. Boy, oh boy, that comfort zone is a dangerous place! Life goes by too fast to waste time, and I definitely don’t want to spend my life around those who are comfortable just being comfortable. I want to be everything I was created to be. I don’t want to die with books in me or with visions that never come to fruition. Even on my spiritual journey, I want to be around those who are sold out and not comfortable living a luke-warm life. Boy, or boy, that luke-warm life is a dangerous place!

The clock is ticking, and the minutes are flying by…what are you doing with your talents, gifts, ideas, and visions? Surround yourself with like-minded individuals who will pull you, push you, stretch you, and challenge you to live beyond yourself. Rub elbows with those who are where you want to be. Live your life to the fullest and spend time with those who understand the value of thriving in life and not just surviving.

If you can’t find a mastermind group, be a mastermind; and I guarantee others will find you!

Stinky Advice

Why are you doing this? Maybe you should do that. Don’t fight that battle…

These are just a few comments I’ve received as I’ve lived my life, but lately, taking heed to what others say isn’t important, but hearing God’s voice and trusting Him is. Nothing God leads me to do makes sense to me, so I don’t expect anyone else to understand my actions. When I begin to listen to others, I compromise and doubt God’s voice.

Yes, God can speak through others, yet I still must recognize His voice. Call me crazy, strange, or even a radical in life, but I know my God’s voice, and it has never led me wrong - never. My father told me advice is like old fish and sour milk; it stinks and nobody wants it. It’s so easy to give someone else advice about their life, but when we look at our own life, it’s close to being messed up from the floor up. The best advice is to direct the person to the one and only Counselor.

Hearing God’s voice is the key; and trusting His voice unlocks the doors to making confident choices regardless of what other voices are saying. It’s not easy following a voice that doesn’t make sense, but with each decision I trust God with makes the next decision easier. His ways and thoughts are not ours, which is a clear indication our choices are wrong if we aren’t Spirit-led. We’re instructed to not lean to our own understanding, but to acknowledge Him in all our ways. Now that’s good advice!

I’d like to invite you to read about a choice I had to make regarding Secondborn’s life. It happened 15 years ago, yet reminds me of how crucial listening to God’s voice is.

Don’t make choices based on stinky advice; listen to God’s Voice!

Positive Test Results

Doctor's tried to intimidate me into aborting Secondborn. 
Read the article in Celebrate Life Magazine here.

My Performance Enhancer

Performance enhancers? I really don’t see anything wrong with them; I take an enhancer everyday. I decided to come clean and expose myself after watching 60 Minutes and the segment on MLB’S A-Rod, Alex Rodriguez. Mr. Rodriguez is under investigation for the use of illegal performance enhancers. Okay, so my enhancers may not be illegal, but I don’t miss a day without a daily dose. 

My enhancer is a powder, I mean a power that is supernatural and is called HS. Not only does HS enhance my performance all day every day, but without my daily dose, I work well beneath my full potential. I have to admit, sometimes during the busyness of my day I forget to stay tapped into my performance enhancer and find myself working in my own power, but the amazing thing about HS is the personal reminder of a refresher dose! So, instead of becoming spiritually drained and physically unglued, I simply tap into my enhancer and I’m back on track. Some enhancers are addicting, and so is mine, but over-dosage isn’t possible, so no harm will come to my body. 

HS is unbelievably potent; and I have yet to take the recommended dosage, and I’m not sure why. I don’t know if it’s fear, or if I think I’m working well enough with my daily comfort dosage.  I know I have yet to scrape the surface of experiencing the full power of HS, but I think I’m ready. I’m ready for optimum performance! How about you? Do you need a boost in your daily strength, energy, and power? Are you tired of living a life of mediocrity? HS is available to anyone. It’s free, and completely legal. There’s even a guaranteed promise of high performance! 

The full name of HS is Holy Spirit. Mix it with faith and obedience and watch your life change. Have a marvelous, enhanced day!

Big Mistake?

While watching Secondborn’s basketball game Saturday night, I spoke with a parent that mentioned transferring his son to his present school was the worst mistake he ever made. I reminded this parent of our first meeting when he told me he was led to transfer his son to the school. Isn’t it funny when things don’t go our way, we think we’ve made a mistake? God doesn’t make mistakes; and He sure doesn’t promise us a life of roses without thorns. I would not have been able to share with the parent if I had not been in a similar situation.

When I look back, through my brown, carnal eyes, certain situations seem like a living hell, but when I look at that same situation through spiritual eyes, I’m convinced God was in control. We desire a comfortable life of joy, peace, and happiness, but what would we learn? We’d be in a sad state of blissful ignorance. I know I would! When I fall on challenging times, life lessons are revealed and wisdom is delivered. My life definitely has not turned out the way I thought it would. My marriage, finances, relationships, career, and even my self have me wondering if I’ve made some mistakes, but believing that God is in control and knows what’s best for me allows me to be content – in whatever state I’m in.

God knows how high my mountains need to be, how low my valleys will go, and exactly when to bring me out of my wilderness. My life isn’t about what I want to do, but about what God wants to do through me and with me; my life is not my own. Mistakes? No. Master plan? Yes. Having the right perspective allows me to embrace this new year, one day at a time, and all God has planned for me.

Being a mother calls for making decisions for ourselves, our children, and sometimes even our husband. The worse thing to do is depend on your own thoughts and ideas. I believe prayer is the key to making good choices. When you're at peace with your decision, that's a sign that you're going in the right direction.