Let's Talk About Sex

Hubby and I just completed a week of Marriage Enrichment with our church family. Various topics were discussed and hubby and I shared on the topic of sex. Sex should be freely discussed among church going women, however, it rarely is. God created sex to be pleasurable between husband and wife, so what’s the secrecy? Doesn't the Titus II Woman have to be prepared in this area also? Who else will the younger wives go to for answers? Ladies, it's quite okay for us to feel sensuous and sexy about ourselves and for our men!

I must admit, at the end of the evening, I'm usually beyond the point of tired to even entertain the idea of donning the sex goddess hat and many prayers for a night off have gone up on my behalf. Most women will agree, sex is not high on the priority list, yet it ranks number one with most men. Some men even become moody when they haven't had their medicine - they need sexual healing.

How often is often enough? Who should initiate sex? Should the children be asleep? These answers differ with each marriage, but one fact is true in all marriages - our body is not our own. Does this mean our husband can have sex anytime he wants? Well, uh...yes, it does.

I don't ever want to outright deny my husband, and I thank God he is understanding and respectful in regards to my sometimes fatigued physical state - but this hasn't always been the case. Because of my lack of initiating in earlier years, our marriage suffered. Men want to feel desired and loved as much as women. It took open communication and honesty between us to resolve this issue.

It's sometimes difficult for couples to discuss sex, yet prayer can change this; it did for us. Keeping hubby physically happy is more than important. The lack of sex in marriage, unless agreed upon, only invites more problems.

Whether you make love once a week, once a month, or once every three months is between you and your husband. Frequency isn't the issue, but a healthy sex life, as defined in your marriage, is. So, talk to your husband about sex, but be careful because simply initiating the subject alone may turn up the heat!

I Corinthians 7:3,4 (NIV)
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.

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Get the Camera!

Last night as the boys and I walked into the house, I heard firstborn say, "Oh my goodness! Get the camera! Get the camera!" I was the last one in the house, so I couldn't wait to see what the commotion was all about. Well, it was their father reading a book instead of watching television like he usually is when we come home. They couldn't believe it, so firstborn snapped this picture.

What the boys don't know is that their father reads every night before he goes to sleep. With that said, it's so important that our children see us reading - this is another action they will follow by our example.

Especially during the summer months while the children are out of school, it's crucial to keep their brain cells active and fresh by reading every day - at least in this house it is!

No reading - no playing.

Thanks hubby!

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Baby Steps

Last night, firstborn was shocked to see me eating something late at night. It made me feel good because I haven't eaten anything past six o'clock for a few days - well, with the exception of last night. I was actually fasting in the evenings with a friend and the physical benefits of the fast have been great. Not only have I not been going to bed with a full stomach, but my food has time to digest, which makes me feel better. This is definitely something I want to continue. It's amazing how making small steps towards doing the right things easily turn into habits.

Hubby and I have been walking four miles in the evening and I've recently picked up a light jog. I'm not training to be a marathon runner, but I am trying to get off my high blood pressure medicine - I couldn't escape my gene pool. Not only has walking helped lower my blood pressure, but I've benefited greatly from the the consistent exercising. My favorite form of exercise is still dancing, yet that small step toward striving to do the right thing led to four mile walks - another good habit.

I want to continue creating good habits in every area of my life - mentally, physically, financially, and especially spiritually. For whatever reason, some things are easier for me to do than others, but my Heavenly Father has already shown me that I'm equipped to do what I need to do. Making these baby steps will also impact my entire household. A mother is a strong influence in the home and our children will most likely follow our actions more than our words.

Loving, forgiving, eating, exercising, reading, and living a daily lifestyle of worship are just a few areas I'm making small steps to improve my walk. I know if I'm faithful with the smaller steps, my personal challenge won't seem unattainable. My journey is about making small steps in my life to make a bigger impact on my home and the paths of others I cross - small steps that will be pleasing to God.

With that said, for those of us making baby steps towards a healthier lifestyle, please visit my friend, Sandy, for her unveiling of Mom's Fighting Fat.

Judges 18:6 (NIV)
..."Go in peace. Your journey has the LORD's approval."

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Glad you dropped by!

For all the mothers battling weight or simply striving for a healthier lifestyle, visit Mom's Fighting Fat for a sneak peek.

Official Unveiling of the website is Monday, June 22nd

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What Did You Say?

Just a FEW things this mother said yesterday.

"Good Morning, wake your brother up."
"How did you sleep?"
"You have to eat breakfast for energy."
"Say your prayers." "Get rid of that attitude."
"Do you love Jesus?"
"It's time for a haircut."
"Clean this nasty room!"
"Did you take your medicine?"
"What are you doing?"
"Are you crazy?"
"Clean this nasty room!"
"Are you drinking water?"
"Did you read for an hour?"
"I don't have money for that."
"Turn the light off!"
"Pick up your books!"
"Oh my God, this bathroom stinks!"
"Clean the dining room table."
"Don't wait until the last minute."
"Yes, do it now!"
"You scare me."
"Come and eat."
"Wash your dishes."
"Great job!"
"What do you want?"
"I'm leaving. Don't answer the door or the phone."
"Clean this nasty room!"
"Did you do what I told you to do?"
"Go brush your teeth."
"You'll be good at anything if you try."
"You call this clean?"
"Practice your cursive."
"Pick up a book."
"Eat an apple or eat some yogurt."
"No, you can't go to the store. Stop asking me."
"Ask your father!"
"Oh God, help me!"
"Does anyone hear me?"

Last night, I fell asleep on the sofa, so I didn't say goodnight to my sons, nor did I tell them I loved them. This morning, the first words to them will be, "Good Morning, I love you." At least I can set the tone for another day full of ....who knows?

Have a Wonderful Wednesday in Motherhood!

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Moms Fighting Fat News!

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First 20 followers have a chance to win a $20 giftcard!!

Unveiling of Moms Fighting Fat - Monday, June 22nd

Send MW an email or leave a comment with your email address for details on following and an exclusive peep into Moms Fighting Fat Website!

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I'll Be There

Just call my name and I'll be there

Remember this song by Michael Jackson? I heard it in the background of an insurance company commercial with several touching scenes of people 'being there' for friends, loved ones, and neighbors. The scene that tugged at my heart the most was of a little boy waiting for someone to get off a bus. That someone was his mother and she stepped off the bus in a military uniform. This brought tears to my eyes because I've experienced leaving my children due to military obligations. There was nothing worse for me than not being able to be there for them. Even now, when I try to get away from my children, I leave them detailed instructions to replace my physical being there.

Being there seals a bond between a mother and child. Being there reassures a child they are not alone. Being there gives a child a sense of confidence to know their mother has their back. Being there lets a child know they are loved in a special way. Being there helps a child feel important. Being there is crucial to a child's well-being. A child needs to know someone will be there regardless of the situations they find themselves in.

A mother is not excluded from the need of someone being there. We are the glue that keeps the family together, so when our own strings become frayed, we need to know someone will be there. When we become stressed, overwhelmed, and weary of being there for everyone else, we need assurance that someone will be there for us.

Our someone is our Heavenly Father. What a blessing to know He has our back! What a blessing to know He will be there regardless of the situations we find ourselves in. We have someone to be there and He promised to always be there!

Even today, I need Him to be there for me; how about you? Whatever state of mind you're in, whatever situation your finances are in, and whatever state your marriage is in, He is being there for you, too!

Our Heavenly Father can sing the words to the song also - Just call my name and I'll be there.

Deuteronomy 31:3 (NIV)

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

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Seeds of Confession

Alright already!! I put the fertilizer down! If you read the previous post, LOL , you'll understand why I'm sharing my seeds of confession today.

Dear hubby came home late from work yesterday and of course he was tired - or should I say...more tired than usual. He didn't even take his uniform off, but when straight into the backyard to work on the pool. I thought of how I could help him, and realized it was best for me to just stay out of his way. He was sorta grumpy, so I just let him be and gave him a few minutes alone. The boys weren't at home to pounce on him and I sure didn't want to take their place with questions and small talk. I thought about the fertilizer and how I turned his simple request into a major battle of the sexes. My husband is tired! Yes, I'm tired also and don't get me wrong, his statement is still hilarious to me, but the HELPMATE in me took control.

Sigh...I can't help it. I just have to help my husband anyway I can, but that doesn't take away from how I feel.

Am I sometimes frustrated because hubby's requests make my already full plate overflow? Yes!

Does it annoy me that he doesn't understand I'm just as busy if not busier than he is? Definitely!

Does it bother me that he doesn't realize I get tired also? You better believe it!

Did it kill me to help hubby out and lay the fertilizer seeds, which I purchased to help our yard and home look better? No (sniff, sniff).

It took all of five minutes and I even watered the grass. Yes, it felt good to throw those seed down and it feels even better sharing my seeds of confession.

We all want to HELP our husbands as much as we can. After all, that's what we're called to do, right? Helpmeet, Helpmate, Helper - however you say it, we are what we are or should I say, we should be what we are (smile).

Of course, I often wonder why I don't get help with my endless to-do list, but just as hubby asked for help, I can ask for help also. I'm not my husband's competitor, but his completer.

We reap what we sow...what seeds are you planting in your marriage today?


This may not be comical to you, but every time I think about it I chuckle. One day this week while seeing hubby off to work, he told me if I wanted something to do, I could put some fertilizer on the grass. I busted out in laughter - Did he say if I WANT something to do? As if I don't already have enough to do! When he heard me laugh, he said, "I know you have things to do, but this is if you wanted something else to do." LOLOLOLOLOLOL

I laughed even harder and probably startled a few neighbors with my earsplitting laughter. It was sooo funny to me, but it also reminded me that hubby has no idea what my days are like. He will probably never grasp the scope of my days. He already doesn't believe the television doesn't come on until close to 2 p.m. Who has time to watch television?

Once again, I guess I make my job appear so easy that hubby thinks it is easy - NOT! We homeschool year round and although the workload is much lighter in the summer, schooling still takes time. Don't forget about the loads of laundry, dishes, other housework, errands to run, and meals to prepare including lunch when hubby calls unexpectedly (at the last minute) asking for a quick lunch. HA!

Oh, wait a minute! I forgot to mention the home business and my baking that I squeeze in when I can. Hey, I don't have time to sit here and do something I enjoy, I've got some yard work to do - NOT!

Have a Wonderful Wednesday in Motherhood!

Monday Meditation - All I Can Be

Tiger Woods has inspired many non-golfers to watch and play the game of golf and I’m one of them. I leave the playing to hubby, but I enjoy watching Tiger play. Yesterday, I watched him come from last place to first place to win the Memorial Tournament for a record fourth time. Un-be-live-able!

Mr. Earl Woods shared in his book, Playing Through, that he didn’t intend to teach his son the game of golf, but realized Tiger’s amazing attention span and focus for the game. Tiger practiced, and practiced, and practiced. He was a perfectionist and desired to be the best.

It’s sad, but true that Tiger has ‘haters’ just because he strives to be the best – and is the best. Why hate someone because they strive to be all they can be?

As I watched Tiger’s winning swing, I thought about my desire to be the best mother I can be. I realize I’m hard on myself as a mother, but there is nothing more that I want than to reach my optimum potential as a mother. I want to be the Mother God created me to be – nothing less. I don’t want to be a mother by the world’s standards, nor do I want my children to receive less than I’m capable of giving. Do I have haters? Of course! Crazy, but true! Why hate me because I’ve made motherhood my priority in life?

My goal today is to be a better mother than I was yesterday – to show a little more patience and understanding - to spend a little more time talking to my children and not at them – to better grasp this season of preteen and teenage years I’m experiencing – to be all I can be as a mother and one day hear God say, “Well done.”

Just as Tiger has inspired many, maybe God can use my simple desire to be all I can be to inspire another mother.

Be all you can be this Marvelous Monday in Motherhood!

Proverbs 31:29 (NKJV)
"Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all.”

A Lasting Impression

Hubby snapped an unexpected picture of me at 6:45 a.m. this morning. Thank God I was fully dressed with accessories! I try hard to leave a lovely impression on my husband in the morning and this time it payed off royally. Whew! Can you imagine if ....I won't even go there.

I have to remind myself that although I don't work outside the home, I am fully employed. My home business and my role as a wife and mother is definitely WORK, therefore, I treat my job just as any outside job - I get up on time and get dressed for the work day.

I also have to remind myself that lasting impressions do their job - they last. This is another reason I get up and get dressed. I don't want my husband to have a lasting impression of me in my pajamas or a raggedy robe, dragging with morning breath, and sleep in my eyes. He's leaving the house and will see many beautiful women dressed nicely and smelling of sweet perfume. What lasting smell will he have of me? Sheets? Nooo way, this hubby will always have a lovely, lasting impression of his wife - unless it's one of those mornings I'm fighting a funk and couldn't care less about an impression - these mornings come monthly.

Of course, this is a different story with all women saying goodbye to their husbands in the morning. If you're in bed when he leaves, it's okay; just be in bed and sexy! If you're in pajamas when he leaves, that's okay also; just look good in those pajamas.

Let's face it, men are visual and they enjoy looking at beautiful things - especially beautiful women - that's their nature! With that said, try to leave a lovely impression on your husband. Remember, this also includes what comes out of our mouth. Ouch!

Have a wonderful day in Motherhood!

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Precious Memories

Yesterday, second born and I stopped to get ice cream from a local ice cream parlor while first born was at a birthday party. We've never been to this place before and although the prices were high for my budget, we both ordered a waffle cone and sat outside and enjoyed it. My son wasn't even half way finished with his cone and said he was getting full. He was struggling to finish it because he knew Mama would say something about being wasteful, so I helped him out. I told him not to finish the ice cream if he couldn't. He said he was sorry for wasting the money and threw the waffle cone in the trash. Yes, it bothered me a little, but I told him our time together eating the ice cream was worth every cent. That was a special time I hope he'll remember; I know I will.

My sons are getting older right before my eyes. I just potty trained first born and today he's having his last evaluation before entering high school - my baby is going to high school! I notice how quickly life goes by as I watch my sons grow up. Looking back over the years, mothering these two boys has been a joy. I wouldn't trade being their mother for anything in the world. Did they drive me crazy sometimes? Yes, and they still do. Have they made me cry? Yes, and they still do. Did they make me want to scream sometimes? Yes, and even now I sometimes feel like I'm going to snap, but my good days outweigh the bad.

I must continue grasping every moment and creating memories with my sons. Before I know it, they'll be creating memories with their own children. I hope they'll be able to look back over their childhood and have good thoughts. I especially hope they have good thoughts about their mother who almost lost her mind in the midst of child rearing.

Life is precious and it's the journey that counts. Our Motherhood Journey is full of joys, pains, sunshine, and rain. Enjoy THIS day as memories are created with your children - regardless of their age. Before you know it, your children will be out of the house - leaving you with only memories of the journey. Have a Memorable Monday in Motherhood!

Proverbs 23:25 (NKJV)

Let your father and your mother be glad, and let her who bore you rejoice.