Just As I Am

I'm having some plastic surgery done and it's been quite painful. The surgery is on my personality. In order for me to genuinely accept another woman for who she is and where she is in her life, I must be absolutely honest about who I am. As the Lord continues to expose and cut the ugliness out of my personality, I’m slooowly learning to enjoy my own gender. I almost hate to admit it, yet one of the reasons revealed to me as to why I don’t take pleasure in the company of women is because I see myself in them. Ouch! Why do I refuse to accept the fact that I am one of these women I don’t care to be around? Am I so holy that I can’t be in their company? Jesus talked with everybody and went everywhere with a mission to share His love. Who am I to select the location and surroundings to share God’s love? This weekend I received an invitation to a jewelry party and I was relieved to have two scheduled football games to serve as my excuse to decline the invitation. Little did I know the Lord would have one game cancelled and also have someone offer to pick me up. I was out of excuses, so I attended and had a wonderful time. With various ages, races, and backgrounds present, we talked and laughed about everything from death to sex after sixty - jewelry was not the topic. The gathering was unlike any I’ve been to before because my idealized image and self - righteous attitude were not invited. I’ve always heard that people we don’t like have a lot of our own qualities in them - I’m convinced of this. I thank God for accepting me just as I am. I thank God for using me in spite of who I am. I especially thank God for saving me and not leaving me just as I am. This is obviously my season for plastic surgery in order to look, act, and walk more like Jesus. It’s painful, yet there is power in pain!