Where Is The Love?

It’s only the beginning of the summer season, and I’ve heard from many mothers via email and spoken with many in person that are already stressing the summer with their children. Disobedience, boredom, cost of summer camps, eating everything in sight, talking non-stop, the list goes on and on. Yesterday I felt the need to search my own heart in regards to my love for ALL children. Sometimes I wonder where the love is when a child comes over that may not be as disciplined or obedient as I think they should be. All children need love and it’s probably because of the lack of love they receive that they act the way they do. It’s not rare for our home to have one, two, maybe three children besides our own and yes, it’s always one that I have to give extra attention to in regards to their behavior. Instead of wishing the child would go home, I SHOULD have a desire to willingly reach out to that child. It’s easy to love a lovable child!! My prayer lately has been to have the love of the Lord for ALL children, not just my own. Help me, Lord! Help me to have your patience with children, your long-suffering with children, your understanding with children, and especially your heart for children. It's summertime and it looks like the mothers are in summer school...The School of Love!

Back On Track

I’ve had four days alone while my family was out of town and now it’s time to get back into the swing of things. They brought back tons of laundry and it's not only calling my name, it’s yelling and begging, but that’s okay! The thing I learned most during my four days of personal retreat was to develop a praying spirit and a mind of continual meditation. What am I thinking about anyway that would benefit my disposition and well being during the course of the day? I usually think about what needs to be done, what I already finished, or concentrating on whatever I’m doing at the moment. As I do laundry and empty their full suitcases, I’ll begin practicing saying a prayer for whoever’s clothing I’m handling at the moment. While cooking, I’ll pray for the family and while cleaning, I’ll pray for a servant attitude as I serve the family God has placed in my care. I know this won’t happen overnight, yet I have to begin somewhere and I have to practice it daily. I learned from one of the Pensacola Pelicans, our local baseball team, that practice doesn’t make perfect, yet perfect practice makes perfection. Can you imagine always having a peaceful spirit and a mind of meditation with your husband and children? I wouldn’t have high blood pressure! Having that time alone has definitely helped my attitude. It’s so true - time away makes you a better wife and mother and it doesn’t matter who goes away...somebody just go!

What's Important?

If you were told you would die tonight, would you make any of the following statements? “I need to close this file before I leave the office.” “I have one important client to see before I leave.” “There is one more load of laundry I need to wash.” No, I don’t think we would make any of these comments. We would most likely gather our family together and spend our last hours wrapped in their love. There is really nothing more important than family and our everyday lives should display that, yet it is so easy to get caught up in chasing our own goals, needs, and wants. It’s okay to have desires, yet sometimes we lose focus on what’s important. My husband is the master of reminding me I have a family. It use to irritate me, yet I’ve learned that I’m blessed to have a husband who believes family is priority. I use to think he wanted me tied to the house with a ball and chain, yet he has supported me in everything I’ve ever done; he believes it’s his job to keep me grounded. I’m good at getting in fifth gear and staying there for a while, but God puts on the brakes to get my life back in perspective. Nothing is so important that family should be put on the back burner. Volunteer work, church ministry, and careers are fine as long as our family is our priority and they know it through our actions and feel it through our love for them. After all, what’s more important than family?

Raising Mothers E-Newsletter

MOMSWEB reaches mothers across the country from California to New York City, and as we continue to build and strengthen our web, there is a continual need for support and encouragement in all aspects of motherhood. Remember the Old Ethiopian Proverb..."When spider webs unite, they can tie up a lion." MW now has a great way we can join together and strengthen each other!

Raising Mothers E-Newsletter invites you to share your personal story, offer encouragement, and share tips with mothers everywhere! Topics of interest and concern to mothers may be submitted to MW via email in 500 words or less. Topics such as, creative ideas for family time, disciplining children, coping with hormones, never-ending housework, finding time alone, home-schooling, juggling family and career, spiritual growth, keeping husbands happy, pregnancy, challenging teenage years, step-parenting, managing a home business, time management, keeping your sanity, being a Godly mother, teaching children to pray, coping with an empty nest, meal planning, and shopping on a budget, are just a few ideas. We are in different seasons in our life with our children, husbands, and spiritual growth, therefore, there are countless topics to consider. Don't keep your story/tip a secret; mothers are waiting to hear from you and we are truly mothers raising mothers!

Read the first issue of Raising Mothers at http://www.momsweb.net/magazine.cfm. Our feature story is by wife and mother, Gwendolyn Lewis of Florida. Gwen shares her feelings of not feeling loved by her mother throughout her childhood and her journey to forgiveness.

Submit your story to mailto:momsweb@momsweb.net and please help MW share this opportunity with other mothers!

Summertime Struggles

Children look so forward to the last day of school and being able to have a little fun without the thought of homework and alarm clocks. Unfortunately, the feeling is not mutual among all parents. So many parents struggle to find summer camps and other babysitting alternatives for children. What’s a working mother to do now that her child is home everyday? I’ve never noticed this before and it’s probably because this year I’ve been asked by several mothers to help them out. I’d be running a childcare if I helped everyone as I wish I could. Nothing changes in my home during the summer break because the boys are home-schooled year round with several free days to make them feel they are on summer vacation (smile). I haven’t a clue what I would do if I were working because money would probably be an issue. Pay for childcare for the entire summer? Yep, I’d be looking for a nearby relative for a few weeks. Is this why children go away during summer break? Wouldn’t it be great to have several schools in your city that would be open during the summer to have fun refresher courses, learning activities, outside fun and games plus other entertaining events for children? Parents could make payments throughout the entire school year and be paid up in time for summer break! Hmmm…sounds like a winner! I’m sure there are some teachers who would like extra pay or teachers in training needed experience that would love to work during the summer. Although some parents do look forward to the summer time for family vacations, the majority must continue to work to keep food on the table. We all deserve a break…even from summertime struggles!

Be Ready!

Don’t get ready for the day; Be ready! Be on guard, be prepared, and be aware and ready for those unexpected events that are bound to happen. When was the last time you had a day where everything went as planned, you didn’t have to look for keys or a shoe, you didn’t lose your temper, or have to deal with someone else’s bad attitude? Whether it be our children, husband, or someone outside the home, be ready! This was my word of wisdom during my meditation this morning and I thank God for the secret weapon to handling the day. It’s like being on a battlefield, which we are, and always having our battle gear on, weapons ready, and staying alert! Spilled milk? No problem! Disobedient child? No problem! Bill collector? No problem! You know it’s coming, so prepare for combat and this includes our attitude, which will take us to a new level of reaction to those simple everyday mishaps and prickly places throughout the day. Are you ready for the day?

They Really Care!

When I’m feeling ill or extremely tired, I continue to do what needs to be done for my family. The cooking, cleaning, and laundry still needs to be done...who else will do it? I continue as if everything is okay while praying for strength to keep going. When I crash on the sofa with dishes in the sink or go to bed before anyone else is a clue to my family that I’ve reached my limit. This happened yesterday at the end of our very full day and I was quite pleased at how my family stepped up to the plate. I knew I needed to rest and eat a decent meal, yet only had the energy to crash on the sofa. My youngest was extremely attentive as he made me a grilled cheese sandwich and served me. My oldest waited on me hand and foot and my husband later prepared my favorite meal of fish, fries, and slaw. He cooked! He sure looked good in the kitchen AND he washed dishes! So, is this the key to receiving this type of treatment every now and then? Act like I’m about to die? I’m sure they would do this more often if I asked them to, yet it sure would be nice for them to do it on their own every now and then! Even after I felt better, I didn’t let them know…I enjoyed every bit of this royal treatment until I fell asleep. The most important part of this ordeal was letting my sons know how their attentiveness was appreciated! I let them know how important it will be to let their own wives feel loved and appreciated on a regular basis. Today I am rejuvenated and ready to tackle the tasks of the day! REST is a crucial ingredient for a happy wife and mother.

"Can We Talk Now?"

Okay, time out! It seems my boys can't get enough of me. Do they really love my company that much or is it because they don’t have anyone else to talk to besides each other? Just give me a minute to breath! Coming home from church last night, I must have heard Mama, Mama, Mama, fifty times! Did they not see their father in the driver's seat? My goodness, am I the only parent they want to share their experiences with? Yeah, yeah, I know, I chose to home school them and be here with them everyday and I wouldn't have it any other way, yet can I just vent a moment? I'm feeling better already (smile). My name is called beginning first thing in the morning and ends when they go to bed at night. I'm extremely happy they feel comfortable enough to share their secrets, show me their acrobatic moves, and tell me an eight-minute, made up story with imaginary characters, yet can I have an intermission period? Toooo funny! Just thinking of them warms my heart and it's hilarious when I tell them I need a moment of silence and they wait anxiously for that moment to end, so they can mama me again (smile). Those moments of silence have been known to last a whole car trip to run errands and back. "Mama, can we talk now?" Our reading time use to be quiet, yet now they are reading books they are so excited about, they want to share what they read or the youngest is asking for help sounding out words. I'm blessed to have two energetic boys excited about life and learning, and happy to have their mother at home with them. I just needed to vent and now I’m okay! Thanks for listening! I lost my peace for a minute and thank God I found it. Sometimes our temperament level can be shorter on some days than on others due to our hallelujah hormones. Hallelujah!! Time to go now, they aren't allowed to talk to me while I'm working on the computer and one keeps peering around the corner (smile).
Now I know why my mother would tell us she was going to change her name!!