I have permission to share this story -
I have a friend, LadyK, whose husband has recently left home and is having an affair. She is devastated and some days finds it hard to get through the day. Crying uncontrollably, she calls me for any consolation I can offer. Because I haven't walked in her shoes, my encouraging words seem empty, but I do know the power of God and believe in his promises.
Last night, I felt led to call LadyK to pray with her. She mentioned she had been reading her word and praying, which explained the unusual joy in her voice. LadyK led us in prayer and it was the most humble prayer I've ever heard. It's one thing to come out of a storm and praise God, but it's the awesome presence of God in one's life to praise him while going through a storm such as this.
When LadyK found out about the other woman, she wanted to approach her and well...you gotta know LadyK. She wanted to beat her in the ground, call her a few names, and then beat her deeper into the ground. LadyK's prayer showed the power of God working in her life through this difficult storm.
Tears rolled down my face as LadyK's heart cried out to God. LadyK began praying for the other woman. She forgave the other woman and asked God to touch the other woman's heart and draw her closer to Jesus. She prayed for protection over the other woman and her husband. She didn't ask God to bring her husband back, yet asked God's will to be done. She told God that if it was his will to restore her marriage, she would welcome her husband with loving and forgiving arms - leaving the past in the past. LadyK then asked for forgiveness for her neglectful part in her marriage. Finally, LadyK thanked God for touching her marriage because it was bringing her to a closer relationship with her Savior. She said, "Lord, have your way."
Why am I sharing this personal prayer? That's it...it's not personal and LadyK even said it was okay to use her name, but I chose not to. LadyK knows her pain will help someone else. She understands this storm is not about her, but to be shared with other women. Did she always feel this way? Of course not, but she is definitely striving to be Christ controlled and doing her part to be a peacemaker in this mess. Her prayer of humility, forgiveness, and unconditional love in an area most women (and men) won't touch, blessed me and many lessons were learned.
Could I do this? Hmmm...immediately? I don't think so. Jesus would definitely have to work on my heart in a mighty way. I believe I would eventually say the prayer, but deep down inside, I'd want my husband and the other woman to pay and feel pain. Maybe this is why LadyK led the prayer and not me.
Forever Indebted
As I quietly sat this morning, meditating and preparing for the day, I glanced at a calendar. Easter is over. The plastic eggs and Easter production props are in storage. The pastel colored bows and ties are safely tucked away. What’s the next holiday? Mother’s Day…here we go. My preparation for the day turned to mentally preparing myself to be appreciated on the 'designated' day.
I began to wonder how Jesus reacts to the days we designate to celebrate in his honor. I’m quite sure he doesn’t have to prepare for recognition and probably doesn’t want public acknowledgement. I’m positive he doesn’t buy into the hype leading up to the celebration, and I know for a fact he takes no thought of physical gifts or carnal sacrifices.
Dare I complain about being recognized only once a year? My acts of service will never measure up to what God does for me - daily.
Oh how I wish I could be more like Jesus and not expect anything in return for serving those I love, but Miss Flesh is alive in my soul. If it’s any consolation, I don’t ask for much - maybe some time alone or someone to wash dishes without being asked. Hearing my sons thank me for their meals is truly gift enough! Hmmm...is it really enough or do I secretly seek appreciation for my simple acts of service? After all, Mother's Day is my day, right?
I thought more about my Heavenly Father’s example of love and never-ending service. No one owes me anything. I am the one forever indebted. My gift is my life - to give back.
Needless to say, today is a new day and another opportunity to willingly and lovingly serve God by serving my family… just because.
Matthew 20:28 (NIV)
"…just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."
Someone Is Watching!
Be veeery careful; someone is always watching you. I recently visited the blog of a young woman's journey to Motherhood, titled Blueberry Filkins. Yep, she's pregnant with her first child and of course this excited me. She also returned the visit and I wondered what she thought as she perused my blog home.
Hmmm...I've been a mother for 13 years and she'll read that I still struggle with laundry, dishes, and juggling errands and activities. Hmmm...I've been married for 15 years and she'll read that I've been recently enrolled in the School of Unconditional Love. Hmmm...should I dress up my blog a bit and soften the edges? No. I am what I am and if I'm going to be a blogger buddy, I must be an honest blogger buddy. No, I don't have a wonderful husband and two amazing sons. I have an extremely high maintenance husband and two sons that try my last nerve, but I love them all to pieces (lol).
Ahhhh...that felt good. The truth shall set you free! Yep, strangers are lurking and you never know who may pop in on your blog home. No time to pick up the toys and run the dust bunnies away, they're already watching! This way they see the reality of Motherhood - the joys, the pains, the challenges, and the never ending rewards. I think this is called....LIFE.
Hmmm...I've been a mother for 13 years and she'll read that I still struggle with laundry, dishes, and juggling errands and activities. Hmmm...I've been married for 15 years and she'll read that I've been recently enrolled in the School of Unconditional Love. Hmmm...should I dress up my blog a bit and soften the edges? No. I am what I am and if I'm going to be a blogger buddy, I must be an honest blogger buddy. No, I don't have a wonderful husband and two amazing sons. I have an extremely high maintenance husband and two sons that try my last nerve, but I love them all to pieces (lol).
Ahhhh...that felt good. The truth shall set you free! Yep, strangers are lurking and you never know who may pop in on your blog home. No time to pick up the toys and run the dust bunnies away, they're already watching! This way they see the reality of Motherhood - the joys, the pains, the challenges, and the never ending rewards. I think this is called....LIFE.
Why The Secret?
I make a point to watch the Oprah Winfrey Show whenever she speaks about or features mothers. She recently aired a show titled, The Secret Lives of Mothers. I can't express how deeply this show re-fueled me. I say re-fueled because it was a defining moment in my life as a mother that birthed MOMSWEB, Inc. (MW)
My passion for sharing Motherhood did not begin with the birth of my first child or even the second. It began with a physical illness that left me unable to care for my sons for weeks. It was during this time that Motherhood became alive to me. Backwards? Yes, but it is what it is. Embarrased that I didn't immediately 'feel the love' for my new bundles of joy? Not at all, but I was shocked at how many other mothers felt the same way, but lied to me about their true feelings. It wasn't until I opened up and shared my 'new mom' experience that these moms began to speak the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
As much as I hate to dissect the universal title of MOTHER, working moms, stay-at-home moms, part-time moms, work at home moms, homeschooling moms, etc... We all have an image we strive to uphold. Would I be correct to say we all have secrets? Why can't we all just get along? Why the secrets? Who are we trying to impress? As I continue to type, I laugh because it really is ridiculous, but I guess this is the nature of THE MOTHER.
Anyway, the Oprah Winfrey Show refueled me and reminded me what the MW website and the MW Blog's purpose is...to share the REALITY of Motherhood and to let mothers from all walks of life know they are not alone on this rewarding, yet challenging journey of Motherhood.
Why the secret?
My passion for sharing Motherhood did not begin with the birth of my first child or even the second. It began with a physical illness that left me unable to care for my sons for weeks. It was during this time that Motherhood became alive to me. Backwards? Yes, but it is what it is. Embarrased that I didn't immediately 'feel the love' for my new bundles of joy? Not at all, but I was shocked at how many other mothers felt the same way, but lied to me about their true feelings. It wasn't until I opened up and shared my 'new mom' experience that these moms began to speak the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
As much as I hate to dissect the universal title of MOTHER, working moms, stay-at-home moms, part-time moms, work at home moms, homeschooling moms, etc... We all have an image we strive to uphold. Would I be correct to say we all have secrets? Why can't we all just get along? Why the secrets? Who are we trying to impress? As I continue to type, I laugh because it really is ridiculous, but I guess this is the nature of THE MOTHER.
Anyway, the Oprah Winfrey Show refueled me and reminded me what the MW website and the MW Blog's purpose is...to share the REALITY of Motherhood and to let mothers from all walks of life know they are not alone on this rewarding, yet challenging journey of Motherhood.
Why the secret?
A Health Confession
I am notorious for sharing the importance of women taking care of themselves, yet I struggle with this crucial concept. I've been congested with sniffles, haven't been able to smell, and have been lovingly snorting in hubby's ear at night for almost three months.
I truly dislike going to the doctor and taking medicine. I know my body was made to heal itself, so if I take care of my temple; my temple will take care of me. Right? Well, I didn't do my part and three months of neglected sniffles turned into a self-diagnosed sinus infection. I finally made an appointment.
Three days later, I found myself in the emergency room wearing a dingy, faded, flowered gown opened in the back and half covering the unique shade of red bumps and hives that covered my stomach, chest, and back. The doctor took one look at me and recognized a reaction to the antibiotics I had been given. All of this could have been avoided if I had just taken care of myself.
A nurse soon comes in with an IV hook up. What the ----? I was prepared to receive new meds and leave, but ended up having to stay a while. I still had not learned my lesson. I was trying to rush out of the hospital instead of taking a minute to take care of me. The nurse offered me a warm blanket. I accepted and was knocked out - IV drugs and a blanket; taking care of me wasn't so bad after all. I had a much needed long nap. Hours later I was back home, yet napped the entire weekend as I continued taking heavy combative drugs.
I'm much better this morning and ready to get back to normal after being reminded of more than a few valuable lessons.
- Temple maintenance is important and requires my attention.
- Taking the time to care for me fuels me to continue taking care of my family.
- Taking care of me puts me in a position to honestly practice what I preach.
- I cannot properly fulfill my role as a wife and mother in a raggedy temple.
I must also mention - if hubby or one of my sons had the sniffles, I would have donned the nurse maid hat immediately...shame on me!
Mothers, have a marvelous Monday in Motherhood and please don't forget to take care of U - mentally, physically, and spiritually!
I Corinthians 6:19 (NIV)
Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?
I Finally Have a Cook!
I've always told my husband that if I had a choice of having a cook or a maid, I'd choose a cook in a heartbeat. I dislike cooking and if I can be completely honest, I hate to cook. Auuugh! I use to pray for the desire to cook, but after ten years of praying, I realized the answer to my prayer must be in my own actions and attitude. My family had to eat, so I might as well JUST DO IT. I sure didn't see a paid cook in sight!
Well, yesterday I received a special favor. I was extremely busy and by 2 p.m., I was exhausted. I still had a full evening ahead of me and had not thought about dinner; I literally forgot about it. My now eleven year old asked me if I wanted him to cook dinner. Oh my goodness! Are you serious? Please cook dinner! You don't even have to ask! My baby boy began planning the meal - joyfully. Did I mention he loves to cook? What an example he is for his Mama.
He had his meat, vegetable, and starch and I watched him run around the kitchen seasoning, stirring, cutting, and even plating. I realized I finally had the cook I wanted - and he's free! He was living with me the whole time, but had to grow into the role.
After he finished running around the kitchen, his little legs were tired. He said, "Mama, I didn't know it was going to be that hard." I selfishly encouraged him by saying, "Sweetie, the more you do it, the easier it becomes."
It's funny how I desired something I already had. God delivers in a way only he can get the credit; His ways are not our ways... Thank God for my cook!
Well, yesterday I received a special favor. I was extremely busy and by 2 p.m., I was exhausted. I still had a full evening ahead of me and had not thought about dinner; I literally forgot about it. My now eleven year old asked me if I wanted him to cook dinner. Oh my goodness! Are you serious? Please cook dinner! You don't even have to ask! My baby boy began planning the meal - joyfully. Did I mention he loves to cook? What an example he is for his Mama.
He had his meat, vegetable, and starch and I watched him run around the kitchen seasoning, stirring, cutting, and even plating. I realized I finally had the cook I wanted - and he's free! He was living with me the whole time, but had to grow into the role.
After he finished running around the kitchen, his little legs were tired. He said, "Mama, I didn't know it was going to be that hard." I selfishly encouraged him by saying, "Sweetie, the more you do it, the easier it becomes."
It's funny how I desired something I already had. God delivers in a way only he can get the credit; His ways are not our ways... Thank God for my cook!
It Works!
This will be my final post about S.O.U.L. (School Of Unconditional Love). All I have to say is...it works!
For the past few days I've noticed a change in my thoughts, which of course lead my actions.
The private petty battles in my head are gone.
I see hubby through different eyes. The little things that use to bother me no longer get my attention.
I thought I was a loving wife, but S.O.U.L. showed me I fell waaaay short!
I now have a peace and ease in serving my husband. I have a willingness to help him more. Before, I had to mentally put forth effort to show simple acts of love. SELF-ISH
My secret is to stay focused on God's love for me.
God loves me in spite of my Self.
He loves me through my sin, my faults, shortcomings, and all my character flaws.
He forgives me over, and over, and over again.
Surely, with all this love I have, it can be shared. No one should be denied God's unconditional love. Love really does conquer all.
LOVE WORKS!
For the past few days I've noticed a change in my thoughts, which of course lead my actions.
The private petty battles in my head are gone.
I see hubby through different eyes. The little things that use to bother me no longer get my attention.
I thought I was a loving wife, but S.O.U.L. showed me I fell waaaay short!
I now have a peace and ease in serving my husband. I have a willingness to help him more. Before, I had to mentally put forth effort to show simple acts of love. SELF-ISH
My secret is to stay focused on God's love for me.
God loves me in spite of my Self.
He loves me through my sin, my faults, shortcomings, and all my character flaws.
He forgives me over, and over, and over again.
Surely, with all this love I have, it can be shared. No one should be denied God's unconditional love. Love really does conquer all.
LOVE WORKS!
Happy Mother's Day
No, this isn't an April Fool's joke and Mother's Day is definitely not something I joke with. I consider the role of the mother to be the most important job in the world and I make an attempt to remember to celebrate my role everyday.
Why wait for a calendar month to show appreciation and gratitude?
So often, we wait for others to acknowledge us, but it takes a mother to completely understand a mother. It takes a mother to fully appreciate a mother. It takes a mother to recognize that menial jobs matter greatly! It even takes a mother to appreciate the absolute necessity of Mommy Time Outs.
It takes a mother to not wait for the month of May to tell all mothers how important, influential, providential, vital, crucial, and significant a Mother's role is. Whether you work within or outside the home, your role is of great magnitude and I wish you a HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
Celebrate yourself today and everyday!
Visit MOMSWEB
Why wait for a calendar month to show appreciation and gratitude?
So often, we wait for others to acknowledge us, but it takes a mother to completely understand a mother. It takes a mother to fully appreciate a mother. It takes a mother to recognize that menial jobs matter greatly! It even takes a mother to appreciate the absolute necessity of Mommy Time Outs.
It takes a mother to not wait for the month of May to tell all mothers how important, influential, providential, vital, crucial, and significant a Mother's role is. Whether you work within or outside the home, your role is of great magnitude and I wish you a HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
Celebrate yourself today and everyday!
Visit MOMSWEB
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