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I share some of my innermost thoughts and feelings of leaving my marriage
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Be YOU
Can I Be Real? Our young girls are faced with crippling pressure to be accepted by society like never before. They compare themselves to photoshopped images not to mention the pressure to have long nails, long hair, long eyelashes and now larger T & A (tits and ass). It's okay to WANT these things, but why not also expose them to their authentic SELF and help them GROW into a woman who doesn't NEED these things. Introduce them to The Othe Woman now instead of later.
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The Other Woman
This happened after leaving my 20-year marriage
Issue #3 is now available!
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For a Second, I Thought...
I spoke to my mother before sharing this because I thought I vacated my senses. Those who know me (really know me) know I'm happy and content with my single life and have no desire to change my status. Well, tonight I realized I do miss having someone in my life. I actually wished I had someone in my life!
Those emotions consumed me while I was outside washing my car and taking the trash out. Amazingly, once I finished those man jobs and got back in the house, I came to my senses. Must've been the heat! Scary Halloween-like thoughts!! More like...
Temporary Insanity
Life Happened
I loved being a wife - supporting my husband, waking up with the chickens to prepare his breakfast, being available to fix a quick lunch if he dropped by, having dinner ready for the family when he got home from work - simply being there for him and being his wife was my pleasure, but some odd things began to happen...as I like to say, "Life Happened."
"a woman should have enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to…"
Author Unknown
That day came for me. I made a decision to leave my 20-year marriage and realized I might have to get a job although I was retired military. I could definitely live off my retirement pay but that would be too close to living from paycheck to paycheck. I didn't want to simply survive or barely make it, I wanted to do some things and go some places.
Yes, I could have stayed in the marriage. After all, we invested 20 years of our lives to each other and built a family around the love we had for one another but was it love or were we tolerating each other for the long haul? Twenty years is a long time. Something kept me there, right? What was it?
Stay tuned...
The Other Woman...Who Is She?
Visit The Other Woman Page on Fb for more information!
She's more a part of your life than you realize.
The Press
If you know anything about the fermenting process of making wine, you'll understand me when I say the press on my life after leaving my 20-year marriage hasn't been easy, but it's allowing me to rise above the pain, endure the press and reach towards what was meant for me - the promise.
Divorce in Progress
After years of posting about being a wife and mother, it feels a little odd posting as a mother only; however, in February of this year after being separated for almost three years, I filed for divorce.
If you've followed my blog, you know I'm a big be a "good wife" advocate. I've stressed the importance of being a loving, supportive, forgiving and patient wife and I've been all those things plus faithful and understanding. I could probably name a few more "good wife" character qualities I had, but none of it would make any difference now - my marriage is over.
Please don't feel bad or sad for me. I'm happy. It feels like I just got out of some type of sports tournament where I played my heart out and gave my all, yet still lost the game. The only difference is I don't feel like I lost - I won. I found the courage to walk away from a twenty-year marriage and start over with my head high and feeling free. I mention this in my latest book When All Hell Breaks Loose, but I don't go into details because that's the next book.
I'll be sharing more...
Women of Wisdom
Lent shouldn’t be selfishly picking and choosing things we want to refrain from, yet should lead us to practice discipline and living in oneness with our God. After all, if we’re honoring the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, shouldn’t that take a little longer than 40 days or a 3 day fast from chocolate or bread? Wow, I thank God for this enlightenment and I thank God for using my friend’s mother to bless me. It never ceases to amaze me how God will bring people in our life to be a conduit for his love and knowledge.
As I fast (decrease) from selfishness and pride, my heart is opened and my blessings are increased in ways I never imagined. Today I am thanking God for the loving hearts of women in my life willing to share their wisdom.
Joy at the Break of Dawn
Joy comes in the morning but recently I experienced an
unusual joy at the break of dawn. This dawn wasn’t the usual first appearance
of light before sunrise; this dawn was a friend I hadn’t seen in over 15 years.
Dawn and I recently spent some time together and while we laughed and caught up
on each other’s lives we realized we both
had experienced our share of spiritual storms over the years. I would have
never known Dawn had gone through anything she spoke about because she
continuously spoke of the goodness of God with her bright eyes and big
beautiful smile. She definitely didn’t look like what she had been through. She
looked so happy!
We all will go through things that have the capability of
breaking our spirit – it’s called life. I speak about this in, When All Hell Breaks Loose. I called it
maintaining our ‘spiritual poise’ in the midst of our storms which basically
means to trust God’s hand in what may look like hell breaking loose or life
falling apart. We have to maintain the right perspective in the storm – knowing
God is in control and He knows what’s best for us. Regardless of what the storm
looks like, it’s always in our best
interest.
I could go on and on about storms because God knows I’ve had my share
and will continue to have storms, yet my soul is anchored in Him – not my
circumstances or what’s going on around me. Yes, joy does come in the morning
but with the right perspective, joy can come in the evening and also at the
break of dawn.
My Chipped Mug
As I boiled hot water for my
tea, I looked at the chip and thought – there is no perfect vessel. The words
on the cup resonated with me in a different way also. Before I give God the
glory, I have to go through something. My life must be touched in some way. My heart
and soul have been chipped on more than one occasion and although the scars are
not visible, they are there. God gets the glory when we share how our lives
have been chipped. We all have a chipped story. Again, there is no perfect
vessel.
My chipped mug means more to me now than it did before I chipped it. I
can imagine God felt the same way about us when we were born perfect in His
sight. He knew we would have even more value to Him once we’ve been chipped.
Unlike my coffee mug, the great thing about us being chipped is that God makes
us whole again and each time we share the story, God gets the glory!
Who Are You?
I remember reading that when we see an island, it may be the tip of a mountain and unless we dive deep – real deep, we’ll never see the mountain in its fullness. The same is with us. People only see the surface of who we are and if the truth be told, it’s quite possible that we only know ourselves on a surface level. To really know who we are, we have to go deeper – not into ourselves, but into a deeper relationship with our Creator.
Our personality and individuality are only skin deep. The marrow of our being is with our Heavenly Father. Once we acknowledge that we are nothing without Him and can do nothing without Him, we open ourselves to His ways and thoughts. We surrender our will and allow His will to be done in us and through us. We become one with Him instead of being who we think we are. God allows our paths to cross with others who will introduce us to new ideas and invite new visions. There is a whole new world beneath the surface of the skin we live in. Our personality is that island everyone sees. If we allow God to take complete control and consume us with His Spirit, we’ll meet who we really are – without reservations and boundaries. Don’t settle on an island, live as a mountain.
Our Mess Can Bless
I shared with a church book club over the weekend and as I sat and watched the ladies arrive, one by one, I considered God’s amazing grace that he would use my mess to bless someone else. It never ceases to amaze me that someone would want to read what I’ve written or come to hear what I have to say. I take absolutely no credit for anything. I write about my challenges as a woman because I know I am not alone on this womanhood journey with all its roller coaster rides of emotions in its many fascinating seasons, so my goal is to help another woman realize she is not alone.
It doesn’t take a book to share. The world is full of women in need of acceptance and hope. We must brighten the corner where we are and when the opportunity presents itself to share what we’ve been through, by all means, allow Holy Spirit to guide us to open our mouth and share. Some woman is waiting to hear your story! We’re all in this together and no one is excused from having issues, challenges, and perhaps a little mess. Spiritual storms strengthen us and when we come together to pour courage into one another, womanhood is strengthened.
Stillness
I read something over the weekend that I’d like to share with you. Wish I could take credit for it, but the author is unknown. May you read with benefit and allow the holidays to speak to you, not stress you.
Stillness Nurtures Peace in my Soul
The hectic pace of life may seem to push me to keep busy, yet a full calendar could leave me feeling exhausted and at odds with others. So I practice caring for myself by making time to be still.
Prayer and meditation are priorities in my day. A moment of gratitude before I get out of bed becomes a seed of pace planted early. I take the opportunity to pray wherever I am with whatever time I have available. As I wait in line or move between appointments, I focus on my breath.I slow my breathing. Each cleansing breath calms my racing thoughts. I may whisper a phrase like “peace, be still” to my being. Stillness nurtures peace in my soul. Restored and renewed, I return to my day at peace.
In the morning, while it was still very dark, he got up and went out to a deserted place, and there he prayed – Mark 1:35
Step Into The Unknown
I’d like to talk about an election. Not the presidential election, but I have a friend who ran for property appraiser of his county four years ago and lost by 90 votes. He decided to run again in the recent election and asked if I would help and be in charge of his social media. I lived hours away in another county and never did any campaigning besides running for a high school student government office, but I agreed to assist. He didn’t have appraisal experience but is a strong community leader with the education and diverse skills needed to successfully manage any office. It took a lot of courage for my friend to run without experience and some perseverance to run a second time.
It takes faith to step out of our comfort zone and into the unknown. When we follow God without a clue of where He is leading us, we invite new levels of influence, wisdom, endurance and so much more. Doubts can make us never try anything new and walk away from new opportunities, but when we trust and follow God, doors we never imagined are opened. Well, my friend won the seat of property appraiser by over 2, 000 votes. His first step is to now become a certified appraiser and be the best appraiser God created him to be. He stepped into the unknown and trusted God. What a testimony he has!
I wasn’t running for office, but I also had to trust God with my lack of campaigning experience. The key for me was to remove any reliance on my limited, natural abilities and abide in God’s supernatural, omnipotent presence. Is there something new you’ve been wanting to explore? Is there something burning in your spirit that you’d like to pursue? Trust and follow God! Step out of your comfort zone and into the unknown!
Respect My Choices
Last night while watching 60 Minutes, there was a segment showing a forum of 25 voters representing various races, genders, and social backgrounds. The subject of the forum? Of course the presidential election. I watched as the selected voters expressed anger and dissatisfaction with the candidates plus their lack of tolerance for the opposing views of other forum members.
I understand politics can be a touchy subject but everyone is entitled to their opinion, right? It reminds me of society’s inability to accept others. We’ve all been guilty of this whether it’s with a spouse, friend, co-worker, family member or even our own children. “Why would you do that?” “Don’t say that.” “You shouldn’t do this or that.” We may not accept the beliefs and choices of others, but I believe we should at least learn to respect them.
It takes a Jesus level of love to accept people for who they are and the choices they make when we don’t agree. Can another person’s opinion or choice hurt us? Who says our choice is correct? The important thing is to stay focused and grounded on our own beliefs and not allow the voices of others to sway or shake us. Much of the beauty of our country is in the diversity we represent. There is strength in diversity and it should be acknowledged on all accounts. If we all thought alike and had the same values, morals, and made the same choices, what a boring country we’d have. Whatever our choices in life are, stand by them, yet respect the choices and voices of others as well.
Specifics or Not?
I had a telephone conversation with a good friend of mine yesterday. We had a lot of catching up to do, so we circled around our lives in conversation and of course the subject of men came up. I mentioned how happy and content I was being by myself and didn’t want anyone complicating my life. She replied by saying she met someone to complicate her life and she was happy. We both laughed and she proceeded to tell me about her new man. Married before, she said she removed all personal stipulations she had and allowed God to send her who He wanted her to have. She’s a tall woman and was even open to dating someone much shorter and race was not an issue for her. From the tone of her voice, her new man definitely sounds like a blessing. He treats her like no other man has, and he cooks which she does not. I asked her to send me a picture and I was convinced. They look like a match made in heaven.
My lesson in this? No, I’m not praying for a man nor do I desire one, but my lesson was in prayer. Of course prayer is a personal thing, yet sometimes we tell God what we want, when we want it, and how we want it. Some of us have been taught to pray with specifics. Do we not trust God enough to know that He already knows the desires of our heart and He knows what’s best for us? It doesn’t matter what we’re praying for, we really don’t have a clue what we really need in our life. Please continue to pray as you feel led, this was my life lesson and my prayer will continue to be…Lord, have your way. Why? Because I’m clueless about what I want or need. I’ll leave the specifics to my Omniscience God.
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