Concerned, Curious, Nosey, or a Snoop?

How much privacy do children deserve? Do you allow your children to close and lock their bedroom door? Do they have privacy to talk on the telephone? If you saw your child's diary opened or unlocked, would you be tempted to read it? If they have a television in their room, do you know what they're watching? Do you read their text messages?

If parents don't know what's going on, how can we correct? How can we guide? I refuse to be ignorant to my child's life and I'm sorry, but the only privacy you're getting in this house is when you use the bathroom. There are no closed bedroom doors here!

I always wonder what conversations Firstborn is having on his cell phone. If the phone is always in his hand, the conversation MUST be pretty important. At eleven and thirteen years old, I think hubby and I have a right to know what is going on in our sons' life - no, we have an obligation to know - a NEED TO KNOW. They can have all the privacy they want when they move out.

Yesterday I checked Firstborn's text messages and I was disappointed. Was I being nosey? I really don't care, but if I had not checked, I would not have known what I know now. I had to recheck the message to make sure I was in the 'sent' files because I didn't want to believe what I read. Excuse me? When did you start using this kind of language? What?! You hang out with someone like this? Uhhhh...you obviously bumped your head and forgot what kind of parents you have. Needless to say, I nipped a few things and reminded Firstborn of a few more things. He had a small case of amnesia when he bumped his head - he forgot how he was raised. He's okay now and the bump has gone away. If I check his text messages again and find these same things, I may put a new bump on his head.

What about you? How much privacy do you allow in your home? Are you concerned, curious, nosey, or simply a snoop?

Keeping the PEACE and My PIECE of Mind With My Teen

Last night, I popped my head in Firstborn's room to see what he was doing and look what I saw! He was doing homework! I know there is a God!

Look closely and you'll see Firstborn's cell phone on the floor next to him. He was also texting

The CD player in front of him was blasting with music. Thank God for Gospel Rap

My first thought was to be the Mama I usually am and say, "Firstborn, put the cell phone away. How in the world can you do homework and text at the same time? Get your priorities straight! Who are you texting anyway? Why is the music so loud? How can you concentrate? Why are you sitting on the floor? Sit at the table or at the desk, so you can concentrate and have a decent environment for studying! Look at this nasty room! How can you think straight? It stinks!"

The mama I'm trying to be said this, " "

That's right, I didn't say a word. I smiled and gave him a thumbs up! I allowed Firstborn to be Firstborn and this is what he gave me in return. A big smile (with some foreign object in his mouth) and the peace signal.



Yep, I'm slowly learning to pick my battles and keep the peace with my sweet teen!
This mama will survive!

Monday Meditation - An On Time Tardiness

Saturday morning I opened my eyes, thanked God for another day, looked at the clock, and begged hubby to tell me I wasn't reading 10:45 AM on the clock. Unfortunately, he assured me the time was correct, so I jumped out of bed.

I have never, ever slept past 10 AM in the morning, not even in my teenage years, but this morning I did. It would have been okay if it had not been a morning I was scheduled to be somewhere at 11:30 AM. It would have been okay if I had not been asked to share with others about the power of a mother's peace of mind in the midst of chaos.

As I scrambled to get myself dressed, I thought how comical God could be at the wrong times. Every weekday morning, He awakens me between four and five in the morning, but not this morning. Nooooo, this morning when I’m scheduled to be at our city’s Peace Fest, I awake at 10:45 AM.

As I hurriedly gathered my things, I prayed and asked God how in the world I was supposed to speak about peace on a morning I was struggling to find my own peace. I began to question why He didn’t wake me on time. Why today, Lord?

Well, I continued driving and praying and received a profound Life Lesson for LaVender, which was…the message you need to share is in your present circumstance. Wow! Lord, you woke me up late on purpose? My tardiness was actually…on time? Wait a minute. Lord, you want me to share my morning mayhem? Talk about being real!

Still driving, I did some breathing exercises to calm me and stayed in prayer. I eventually arrived at the Peace Fest, found my table, and set up – in peace. I was blessed the entire day as I shared the power of peace in the midst of mayhem. Isn't if funny how things always, always work out?

Whatever God has in store for you this day, remember your peace is your power. Even when things don’t appear right, God is in control, He doesn't make mistakes, and the Prince of Peace will assure you – it’s already alright!

I Corinthians 14:33 (NIV)

For God is not a God of disorder but of peace...

Are You Guilty of Child Neglect?

Is it fair to call a woman stupid because she was not taught healthy mothering skills? Is it fair to assume every mother is taught the same level of responsibility and accountability?

I think not, however, recently I've heard mothers being referred to as stupid, assholes, and even baby killers.

I think it's safe to say that it is only by the grace of God that we were raised by mothers who attempted to do the right thing in nurturing their home, and we learned from them. We may have even improved what we learned and possibly admit to falling short in some aspects of our learned mothering skills.

After doing a little research on my own, it seems lower income and poor families are prime victims of the press when it comes to sharing child neglect stories, however, there are more than a few high society families that not only hide their activities of neglect, but are excused from their actions because of their income.

When will be pay attention to the children of low income families, who research shows, suffer the most from poor quality care. What about the high society siblings being neglected and mistreated, but are hidden from help.

Regardless of society status, it isn't until we hear or read about children being left at home for days at a time, malnutritioned, or thrown in a garbage can after birth that we give childcare any serious attention. Who is really guilty of child neglect here? The fact is, child neglect and abuse is going on around us everyday. These children have no voice, yet we use our voice to call the mother stupid, shake our heads, and go on about our merry way.

Well, Momsweb will be more proactive in this issue. Not only will I continue sharing the need for educating mothers and mothers to be, but I must take the word beyond the Internet. Every woman doesn't have access to a computer to read the latest encouraging post on my blog or the latest edition of Raising Mothers - especially if they are in a rural area. Hmmm...out of sight, out of mind. I don't want to just preach to the choir.

The MotherHOOD must consider the children, but before a child is cared for properly, the caretaker must be taught properly. It's a huge task, but I must do my part.

Momsweb - Nurturing Children From the Root...the Mother.

Toddlers Turn Into Teenagers

May I reflect on Firstborn's toddler years for a minute? Baby boy was something else and I knew he was set apart from the rest. I didn't just read children's books to him, I read "War and Peace" to him because I knew he was different! He was the chosen one!

Firstborn would wake up, dress himself, clean his room, and brush his teeth without being told. His drawers were organized, his toys were always picked up and he did whatever I asked him to. I even have a picture of him hidden away somewhere of him standing up in a chair washing dishes. Yea, this Mama had it going on! I knew my mothering skills for my first child were all that and a bag of potato chips (baked please).

Low and behold...Firstborn turned 13 and my head turned also - a complete 360 degree turn. Yes, he is still a very sweet child, but the initiative is GONE! Not only does he have to be told to do the things he did on his own as a toddler, but he has to be reminded and then told again. The picture below is of Firstborn sleeping in the car yesterday after I picked him up from school. We pulled in the garage and he mentioned how tired he was (he had football practice also). I told him he would just have to be tired while he washed dishes and the chosen one let out a HUGH SIGH (almost knocked me over), closed his eyes, and went to sleep in the car (in the garage) for at least 30 minutes.

Yea, this Mama's mothering skills have definitely paid off! I got it going on!! LOL!

Monday Meditation - Driving on Empty

My car stays on E. I've got my reserve tank mileage down to a science and so far, I've never run out of gas. This drives hubby crazy, but unfortunately, not crazy enough for him to make sure my car keeps plenty of gas in it. I hate to stop and pump gas and when I do, the boys pump it if they are with me.

One day recently while driving on empty, I made one trip more than I should have and boy was I praying! "Oh please, Lord. Please take me to the nearest gas station. Please, Jesus have mercy, pleeeease don't let me run out of gas." Of course my Heavenly Father spared me in my dumb decision as He always does, but of course He gave me more than mercy. Yep, a Life Lesson for LaVender.

After I pumped the gas, I was relieved. Whew! Thank you, Jesus! I continued on my way, but guess what? My need for Jesus wasn't as strong. Hmmm...what would make me think I didn't need his grace and mercy as much on a full tank as I did on an almost empty tank? Had I forgotton about the time the car stopped running at a major intersection with gas? Had I forgotten about His daily mercy in keeping me from dangers seen and unseen on the road? Oh Lord, do I really gauge my need for you like I gauge my need for gas?

I applied this gas tank lesson to my life. I need Jesus every minute of the hour, not just when I'm running low on gas, on money, on joy, on food, on patience, on compassion, etc... I need Him every step I make and every breath I take.

When we get comfortable in our life, God will definitely throw an uncomfortable pillow at us to remind us that He is in control. As I close this meditation, an old hymn comes to mind titled I Need Thee Every Hour... I need Thee, O, I need Thee; Ev'ry hour I need thee! O bless me now, my Savior, I come to Thee!

Psalm 145:18 (NKJV)
The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.

Guess What?

Guess what? I'M ALONE!

Hubby and the boys went to the Men's Breakfast at church and I'm all alone (tee-hee).

After eating a delicious, warm bowl of oatmeal with brown sugar and raisins (in peace), I went from room to room deciding which one I should clean first - I get so much more done when I'm alone (what is this about?).

Well, I ended up in the living room where the computer is and here I sit. Why waste my free time cleaning when I can go blog hopping? Yeah, buddy! This is a golden moment for me - to blog without disturbance!

Hope your blog door is open because I may drop by! I'm free!

Have a wonderful weekend in Motherhood!

Don't Give Up

Don't Give Up!

This morning while driving Firstborn to school, there was a man holding a huge red sign that said, Don't Give Up. I was already thinking of the number of homeless people in our area, so when I saw this sign, it brought a sense of comfort to me. The sign didn't change anything except my emotions, but I wondered how many people would drive by that sign that are going through rough times. I wonder if there was a mother out there at her wits end and with her last dollar that would see the sign. Would it help her?

Right now, I sit in my warm home, I'm healthy, happy, I'm behind on a few bills, but I have an income, my husband is healthy and working, our sons are healthy and happy, and if God is willing, tonight we will be reunited as a family to have dinner together and enjoy our warm cozy, happy home.

• I don't want to be so comfortable that I forget the needs of others.
• I don't want to be so unattached to the reality of life that I forget some mother doesn't have milk for her baby.
• I don't want to be so focused on my own life and goals that I forget a mother is facing foreclosure today.
• I don't want to be so blog happy that all I do is blog about my happy family and forget the many mothers in need - some who many read this post.

Just as the media has influence and power, so does the Internet, and so does blogging. Have you ever thought about how your blog can make a difference by what you share? An encouraging word, spiritual guidance, a special giveaway, or even a good laugh or smile can make a difference.

It's sad, but many bloggers have another life behind their blog. Most bloggers share the happy home side, while less than few share the reality of their life.

News Flash! EVERYONE has an issue - even you. Everyone is going through something, so as we continue to blog from day to day, remember someone may stop by your blog needing something only your blog can offer.

I may not be able to change the world, but I can make a difference in my little corner of the world and so can my little blog. Let's make a difference today and share this post with someone in Blogland.

And remember, whatever you may be going through...Don't Give Up! The only way you lose is if you give up.