Don't Wait Til You're In Trouble

It's been a long time since my children have felt the rod, but yesterday, Second-born had to receive a few licks. He blatantly disobeyed me, which isn't common practice for him, and it had to be addressed. I spoke to him of the importance of obeying parents and God and having consequences for disobedience. I tried not to lecture, but as I spoke, I could see his regrets for his actions as his eyes filled with water. After a while, I felt like I needed to use more than my words to discipline, so I did. Since I waited, it wasn't out of anger, so his fragile feelings were probably hurt more than those three passive licks, but the message was enforced. The blessing in this was when I walked into his room to deliver his three licks, he was reading his Children's Bible. Lord, have mercy. I almost changed my mind, but I followed through. I also used that opportunity to share the importance of starting your day with prayer and the Word of God - from the jump! This helps us avoid some of the traps of deception and disobedience the enemy wants us to fall into. I pray today is a better day for Second-born and I will remind him to START the day in the Word - don't wait until you're in trouble!

Show Me

My sons thank me for most everything I do for them. This warms my heart, yet I tell them to show how thankful they are by keeping their room clean, being obedient, and not getting an attitude when life doesn't go their way. I’ve told them this for a few years; however, while recently saying a prayer of thanksgiving, a Life Lesson for LaVender emerged. It humbles me when I pour into my children and God uses that very moment to reveal my own shortcomings and sins. My Heavenly Father not only wants to hear of my thankfulness, but wants to see the sincerity of my thankfulness through my consistent obedience to Him, forgiveness, and compassion. Loving my children unconditionally and being a supportive helpmate will also show how thankful I am for my never-ending blessings. It’s funny how I think the ethics of the relationship I have with my children differ from the father/daughter relationship I experience with my Savior. Why do I set standards for my children that I don’t always uphold? Do I think there are exceptions to rules of obedience because I’m an adult? If an adult can’t get it right, do I really expect a child to get it right? I examined myself as I considered the expectations put on my sons. As a parent, I am called to be a loving example, not a judge without mercy.
My life lesson is similar to this month’s Sherri Speaks titled, Do as I Say. Single Mother, Sherri, exposes a difficult decision she recently had to make to renew her relationship with her son and her God. Be encouraged today as we self-examine our walk as wives, mothers, and women of God.

1 Corinthians 11:1 Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.

Midnight Life Lesson

I walked into my sons' bedroom last night, at midnight, to pray and the room was a complete mess. It was actually more of firstborn's mess, so instead of bowing to pray, I bowed to wake him up to pick up the small piles of dirty laundry, clean clothes, and other mess around his bed. It was another Life Lesson for LaVender as I later realized I allowed the mess obscure my focus on God. I went in with a mind to pray, yet allowed the mess to distract me. This is the same thing that happens when we're going through a difficult or trying time in our life. We can't see God working in our life because we're focused on our issues or our mess. Just as we joyfully praise God when things are going well, we should praise God when things appear not to be going as well. Although the boys' room was a mess, God was still in the midst watching over them. I was the one who moved - God was still there... in the mess. While firstborn groggily half cleaned, I prayed for him and thanked God for the beautiful midnight life lesson.

Clean Thoughts = Clean Dishes

While washing dishes this morning, I realized a sink full of dirty dishes doesn't bother me like it use to. Washing dishes use to be a comfort for me, but when I watched the family use a plate or glass, put it in the sink or leave it on the counter, and walk away; I began to take offense to it. They just KNEW they didn't have to wash it. I took it personally because it made me feel like I was being taken advantage of. Well, my issue with the dishes is a thing of the past and this really isn't about dishes, but about how I allow things to stir me up and time eventually works things out. To put it plainly, my thoughts and attitude are the only things worked out. As with anything that has troubled me in the past...they no longer occupy my thoughts. What happened to them? Nothing...they are still there, but something obviously happened to me. I'm learn to get over things before they make me circle the drain. I can't change it, so why fret over it? Needless to say, as I washed the dishes and listened to the running water that is always so soothing to my mind, I realized my comfort returned - I returned. My clean thoughts led to clean dishes, a clean sink, plus a clean kitchen.

Do I or Do I Not?

Do I or do I not jack him up? Firstborn is turning into a complete absent-minded slob. Yes, I said it. There is no other way to describe it and to top it off, his pre-teen issues are trying to get the best of me. Soooo, when he gets an attitude because I continually tell him to pick up his belongings, do I jack him up or do I not jack him up? Just this morning I told him to wash his sheets and he told me he was using his sheets...he was in the bed. Excuse me? Why are you in the bed after 9 a.m. and why are you talking to me after I asked you to do something? No explanation needed, "GET THE SHEETS!" Agitated, he angrily walked away with disgust in his face and I quickly walked after him to jack him out of his attitude, but I pulled myself back. No, the Holy Spirit pulled me back because LaVender was in high pursuit. I was told this was the age children lose their minds, but they'll be back in a few years after they find themselves - hopefully, with a different mind(set). I don't want to lose my mind with him, so I better stay under control. No telling what I would have done if I continued walking behind him this morning. Okay, I know what I would have done...I would have JACKED HIM UP!

Rest Your Mind

This weekend I limited any activity requiring mental abilities. I needed a mental retreat like I needed air, and the holiday weekend was right on time. There was no company, no cooking, no cleaning, and no business conducted. Resting my brain helped me realize the lack of attention I give my mind. I make sure my physical body is clean and conditioned, but I often neglect nurturing my mind. I also noticed how much concentration it takes to sit and meditate on nothing when you’re used to thinking about everything for everybody. Because I rested my mind, I feel amazingly refreshed and ready for another grinding week of being cook, maid, baker, mediator, teacher, taxi-driver, helpmate, and the many other hats I wear. Having quality meditation time also improved my tolerance level with situations that normally irritate me. Now I see why people who meditate on a regular basis are so peaceful. Hmmm…I need to take more time off. Mothers should be required to take a day off. Our mental capability to perform would definitely increase. Our minds are always occupied by what we’re doing or what needs to be done. Sometimes we sit to rest, but our minds are still busy! When we don't stop to renew our mind, we suffer from brain-overload and unwanted stress. I know; I’ve been there many times. I use to feel good about being able to do so many things and accomplish various tasks, yet as I get older, having my peace of mind is more important to me. Actually, I just want to keep my mind - period! When our thinking is cloudy and irritability becomes our shadow, it's time for a day off - time to rest our mind. Rest is a Mother’s secret weapon and meditation is enrichment for our soul.

Ecclesiastes 2:23 (NIV)
All his days his work is pain and grief; even at night his mind does not rest. This too is meaningless.

Burning the Candle at Both Ends

I spoke with a Mother yesterday who has left her family. I'm sure she'll eventually return, yet she was tired of not being appreciated. She is physically and mentally tired of burning the candle at both ends. Isn't this the story of many mothers and wives? Don't we all at some point on our journey feel like we are being taken advantage of or being used? I think we expect something in return for our calling, yet our family doesn't fully understand what we do or even how we do it all. All they know is that things get done and when things don't get done; they take notice.

Yesterday, I watched my husband come home from work, change clothes, and heat his dinner plate up in the microwave that was waiting for him. My immediate thought was, "Hmmm...I wonder what that feels like to come home and not have to cook." I could have immediately started something with him by making simple comments, but I held my tongue. It's easy to throw a pity party. It's easy to notice the benefits our family reaps from our hard work. It's also easy to realize they don't know how to appreciate us. They do what they know to do and that might be to say a simple 'Thank you' every now and then. We know they love and appreciate us, they just don't say it or show it as often as we want or need them to. I've learned not to take it personally. My role is more powerful than I'll ever be able to understand or appreciate, so how can I expect anyone else to appreciate it? I'm reminded to do everything unto the Lord and this helps me not to expect anything in return for my works at home; therefore, I'm not disappointed.

I guess we each have to learn to deal with these feelings in our own way. The important thing is to remember to TAKE CARE OF YOU. Remember that you are a key component in your home and before you can lovingly care for your family, you must be cared for FIRST. Be good to YOU!

I'm Not There Yet

MOMSWEB has given me an awesome avenue to share how God works in my busy life. Sharing my sometimes painful pruning experiences helps us realize we are not alone on our journey to be Christ-controlled wives and mothers. One of the most popular responses I receive, whether in speaking engagements or through email is, “I’m not there yet.” Well, I’m not there either, but I know someone who is…Jesus! The minute we accepted Jesus in our life, we were infused with His power. No, I don’t have the patience to homeschool my two sons, but God does. No, I don’t have the energy to be a supportive, passionate helpmate - everyday, but God does. No, I don’t have the oomph to cook and clean all the time, but God does. No, I don’t have the discipline to hold my tongue, but God does. No, I don’t have the determination to exercise my temple on a daily basis, but God does. I’ve learned surrendering my Self is the answer to becoming one with Christ. My carnal thoughts stifle the Spirit from having His way with me and through me. My messy mind hinders my obedience. Denying myself allows me to be there – right where God wants me…as an empty vessel. Let’s stop recognizing the things we can’t do and acknowledge that we have the power to do all God requires of us as wives and mothers. If God can work through my selfishness, pride, uncontrolled tongue, and my many other issues, He can do it for you! We may not be there, but God is, and He’s waiting to unleash the power within us. Acknowledge the power of God and let Him have his way today and everyday!

Philippians 4:13 (NIV)
I can do everything through him who gives me strength.