Can I Be Real?

 I chuckle when I respond to emails regarding the meditations and new readers are surprised to hear back from me. Momsweb isn’t a major corporation with employees filtering and answering emails. I answer emails right from my home laptop – usually between washing dishes, laundry, writing, and dealing with two teenaged boys. When I first started Momsweb, over eleven years ago, with the help of a few loving, volunteer moms, I had no idea I’d be reaching women from coast to coast, writing books, and I especially didn’t think I’d receive invitations to speak! Did I plan this? Absolutely not – I didn’t have a business plan, but I had a passion. My passion was simple – to help women, wives, and mothers in the daily challenges of life.  It’s no secret; I struggle with all three of these roles – daily.  I’ve been called to openly share my marital mess, my snap scenarios as a mother, and the challenge to not lose my SELF as a woman. 

Just because I love and live for Jesus doesn’t mean I don’t struggle walking with Him. What’s important is that I share my struggles and how I recognize the power of God within my struggles. This is my charge – to share myself, the good and the bad, the highs and the lows – to be real. Betty Winters, a very wise woman, wife, and mother who has several beneficial words on the Momsweb site, has  penned a phrase I now use – look into my life and learn from it.  I adopted her words as my mantra. It’s my reminder to be real.  How can you learn from my life if I give you a false impression?  Sometimes I hesitate to share my mess, but I’m reminded about my passion to help. It’s not about me, but about God using my mess to bless.  Have a REAL good Monday!

Twisted and Tired

  I would consider myself a twisted woman if it wasn't for my hormones reminding me I'm only twisted once a month instead of 365 days out of the year. Not only do I feel twisted, but I'm tired as a dirty dish rag - no life! Thank God for energy foods and drinks...now if I can just fight this craving for junk food and chocolate! How am I supposed to make the right food decisions during my twisted time of the month? Hmmm...I pick chocolate!  Womanhood...only the STRONG survive!

Crazy Love

 A song in a movie I watched this weekend keeps rewinding in my head. The movie, “Phenomenon,” starred John Travolta who played a character named George. There was so much in this great movie I could write about, but one small scene in particular stayed with me.  The scene was with George and a woman he was crazy about. One day she came over and washed his hair and shaved him; George was unkempt and was preparing to speak to their small community.  The song in the background was beautiful. I’ve never heard it before, but the words rewinding in my head are: she gives me love, love, love, love, crazy love. There were no sexual undertones in this scene – simply a touching scene of a woman showing kindness to a man.   

The woman’s simple act was a mind-blowing act of love for George and a reminder to me of how little things go a long way.  It doesn’t matter if it’s an act of kindness towards my husband, children, neighbor, friend, or even a stranger – love is powerful. Unexpected acts of love are even more powerful and they don’t cost a thing except my availability and willingness - to God. I am completely incapable of showing any act of love without God’s help. I know my selfish spirit all too well. God’s love is freely given without reservation, thought, conditions or consideration of self. 

There is a portion of love within each of us waiting to be stirred up and poured out. While the woman was washing George’s hair, she didn’t say a word until she finished. She let love speak for itself. Isn’t that beautiful? Hmmm…are my acts speaking love? Can my husband say I give crazy love or is he just calling me crazy? Thank God for another day and another opportunity to show love.

My Muddy Mind

My mind was like mud this morning – thick and unclear. I usually flow with words and creativity in the mornings, and it wasn’t until this morning that I understood the prayers of the elderly – “Thank you for waking me in my right mind.” I say that prayer often, but this morning it meant more to me. Eventually, the mud cleared. I don’t care if it’s my right or left mind, I thank God for the ability to think straight! Aging is a blessing, but it seems so inconvenient! I refuse to wait until I’m older to realize the blessing in functioning in my right mind. There are so many exercises to help keep the mind sharp, but just like physical exercise or eating healthy, we don’t always grasp the benefits until we hit middle age or older then we try to backstroke and make up for lost time. Funny, isn’t it? 

Arthritis, Dementia, Osteoporosis, Urinary Incontinence, and the list continues. You may be saying, “I don’t want to hear about this right now,” and this very thought is why you’ll be doing the backstroke. I know my Monday morning, muddy mind was a combination of a few things mixed with the onset of menopause; I accept my older woman’s arrival. At the same time, I’m recognizing how blessed I am TODAY to be in my right mind, have activity of my limbs, am able to exercise, use the bathroom on my own, and have energy and strength to get through this day! 

They (whoever they is) say youth is wasted on the young; I believe this, so let’s try to grasp the day, seize the moment, exercise, and enjoy our youth TODAY because our older woman will be knocking soon if she hasn’t already knocked. Enjoy your day and exercise your mind!

Can You Hear Him?

 My dreaded monthly cycle had me in bed all day Saturday. Sunday morning came and I wasn’t feeling any better, so I stayed home from church. I decided not to turn on any gospel music or watch any religious television. I didn’t want to hear anyone talk about God, I wanted to hear God.  I didn’t open my Bible or any devotional book, I just found a quiet place and reflected on the presence of God – I waited to hear from Him.  As my mind moved to a place of peace, my mind also tried to go other places and get busy, but I kept being drawn back to that peaceful place. It was a true battle in my mind to stay in that peaceful place. Each time I was drawn back, it was like God was whispering my name and asking for my time. He whispered and reminded me that my peace, guidance, comfort, and the answers I’ve been seeking were in that peaceful place. He whispered to remind me to keep coming to the peaceful place because His desire to spend time with me was greater than my desire to spend time with Him. Ouch!  

My mind entertains so many needless thoughts which obstruct God’s voice. I can never say God doesn’t speak to me, but I can say, I don’t hear God’s voice and that’s nobody’s fault except my own. It’s my choice to find that place o peace every day. It’s my choice to accept the invitations from His soft whispers – or not. I’m quick to plan a girl’s night out or a dinner date, but the benefits of sitting in the presence of God are by far greater. My Sunday was extra special. Not because of my quiet time with God, but because of His reminder of wanting to spend time with me. Shhhh…can you hear Him?

Live to Write vs Write to Live

 I'm a writer and Secondborn obviously doesn't understand if I don't write, I don't get paid.

Yes, I spend A LOT of time on my laptop. I admit that - I love to write - it's like breathing to me.

Secondborn recently told me I was addicted to my computer and I needed to take a break for a couple of days. My reply? "Okay, you take a break from your Playstation and the television and I'll take a break from my laptop."

His reply? SILENCE!

Call it an addiction if you want, but I call it doing something I love, a hobby, or .....my JOB!

I'll Fight For You!

 Seeing a child mistreated invites Miss Flesh to show up. Seeing my own child mistreated invites Miss Flesh to act a fool. A better way to say this is to say this mama bear does not play. Miss Flesh showed up this weekend during another basketball tournament. It’s something about that basketball court and me. Firstborn and one of the players from the opposing team grabbed the ball at the same time and tussled for it. It looked like the opponent gained possession of the ball and when Firstborn walked away, his opponent followed him. The next thing I knew, the referee was blowing his whistle and throwing Firstborn and the opponent out of the game. I went off – oops…I mean Miss Flesh showed up.  

 Before I knew it, Mama Bear stood up on her hind legs and started growling.  I let everyone know that was my child and I would protect him!  That night, I was assured that someone has my back that same way - my heavenly Father. He’s ready to fight all my battles. He told me no weapon formed against me will prosper. He always has my back and is ready to go to war for me at all times. The best part of this is His promise that I will always win – always. As long as I remain in the “secret place” and abide with Him, I’m safe! I’m sure the Lord’s love for me surpasses my love for my children, so I can’t imagine what He feels for me or the children he entrusted in my care. After all, He died for me! I can live my life knowing I’m covered and protected – all because Jesus loves me. Even when Miss Flesh shows up, I still win because my life lessons, through her, draw me closer to Him.

Firstborn is #12 in the blue uniform

Middle-Aged Midriff News!

 Having babies use to be my excuse for my little belly fat, but now that the boys are teenagers, I don't think that excuse is believable anymore. I've had many years to loose the baby fat, which has now settled into belly fat. Sigh...  My older sister told me years ago, it was just easier to put another baby in the sagging bag instead of trying to get rid of it. Well, I did that, but now that I'm approaching 50, I don't think putting a baby in my sagging bag is such a good idea anymore.


Much of the middle-aged mid section (nice name for it) is due to stress, lack of exercise, lack of fiber in the diet, or couch potato results.  I have a tall, slender frame, so to add a spare tire around my waist just doesn't look right - not to me. I'm not trying to please anyone, but I've never seen this on my body before - not to this extent, so I'm wondering where in the world it came from? It just slipped up on me! Hmmm...very strange.


Maybe the late night cookies and milk that I use to reward myself with for when I had a rough day in motherhood. Maybe for the second helpings I got at dinner that didn't seem to matter at the time. Maybe from the movie marathons with popcorn. Maybe from the many Snickers bars I had over the years that craved my hunger? Who knows, all I know is that the spare tire needs to go in the trunk...there is nothing back there! You know what I mean?


It's never too late to exercise and although I exercise on a regular basis, I obviously missed that part of my body. Unbelievable! You can try to run from the middle-aged mid section, but you can't hide NOR can you hide IT. sigh...