Update on S.O.U.L.

I'm still enrolled in the School Of Unconditional Love and I have to admit that I've flunked quite a few tests, but I've also passed a few. It's a shame to admit this, but the one person I have the most difficulty showing unconditional love to is my husband. Hubby's nickname is Sugar Bear and I gave him that pet name because he is such a sweet, gentle, caring man. He's very touchy feely (spell check), which is quite opposite of me, and he's a lot of fun to be with. So what's the problem you ask?

I come from an abusive relationship with a crazy, drug using, malt liquor beer drinking, alcoholic boyfriend and brought MUCH baggage to my marriage. Sugar Bear has had to pay for my past over and over again. S.O.U.L. is God's way of delivering me from my past and allowing Him to have his way with my heart. Why so long to seek freedom? SELF! Silly, self-centered Self. I validated my inability to express love with my past, which is wrong. I finally got sick of self - yuck!

Why am I sharing this? I've received many, private emails regarding husbands, so I'm not alone. It doesn't take abuse to realize marriage is a challenge - we all know, husbands are a challenge. They show us what we're made of. Ouch! We all have something in us that needs to die. Whether it's our past, an addiction, expectations of others, a character flaw, a grudge, or a simple hang-up, it's something. If you don't think so, there is a test around the corner that will reveal something quite unpleasant within you. Whatever it is, it hinders the free flow of God's love through us.

S.O.U.L. isn't easy at all, but I'm enjoying the process thoroughly. The lessons are challenging, yet rewarding and each day a little of my self fades. I have an abundance of self, so I may be in the school a little longer than expected. I’m reminded not to consider hubby’s actions, but to simply do my part because I have to answer for...Self.

S.O.U.L. will not only free me in my marriage, but every other relationship in my life. There are seats available in S.O.U.L. and I'll be happy to save you one...oh yea, I need to worry about myself. (hee-hee).

Have a loving day in motherhood!

My Reality Show

Don’t look now, but there’s a hidden camera that’s been following you for a few days now. Not only has it watched your every move and interaction with family, friends, co-workers, and strangers, but you've been on reality television for everyone to see. You’ve had several tests and people have watched the decisions you made and your response to various difficult situations.

Before you start looking for the camera, I’m joking, but actually thought about this happening to me after watching a movie this weekend. The movie was about a dirty cop that had a partner with a heart for God, people, and for doing the right thing. One day on the job, the good cop committed a deceitful act witnessed by his partner, the dirty cop. The dirty cop lost all hope for his chances of changing. Although our eyes shouldn’t be on man; the actions of a man /woman is what will lead others to the Father.

I wonder if my reality television show would be an encouragement or a hindrance to others. Would I be an example to mothers as they watched me discipline and teach my children? Would I be an example to wives as they watched me interact with my husband? What kind of temperance would I display? Would I show compassion and love to everyone? What about patience and kindness outside my home? Can I skip the segment when Aunt Flo visits?

I really don’t need a television show to be mindful of my actions because someone is always watching me. Even when I’m alone, some One is watching me. We will all stumble in this life, so it’s important not to look at the actions of others, but to look in the mirror at our Self. God wants to depend on us to do the right thing.

Hey, if I do receive an offer for a reality television show, will you join me?

Romans 14:12,13 (NIV)

So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God. Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way.

Validate Him!

Hubby and I facilitate a couples' class titled The Fighting Marriage. I must admit we are well qualified to lead the class due to many years of experience in learning how to fight for our marriage and deal with the expected conflict of two people becoming one.

Last night it was mentioned by a couple of men how important it is for men to be validated - acknowledged - confirmed - and a few other words that keep their egos from cracking. As women, we can try to understand this, but we'll never understand the magnitude of validating our men as the PROVIDER, PROTECTOR, and PRIEST of his home - as king of his castle. Validation of the 3Ps is what feeds a man's sense of accomplishment.

Last night was a reminder for me (and a few other wives) to remember to tell hubby how much I appreciate his hard work in the 3Ps and that he's the greatest husband in the world. Yes, we all have the greatest husband in the world and even if we don't think so, it's our job to make them think so.

Sending our husbands off to work with a special 'endorsement' may be better than sending them off with breakfast!

Love Isn't Fair

After yesterday's post, it would be a dishonor to not share how my day went. First of all, I realized I've been enrolled into S.O.U.L. (School of Unconditional Love) This learning is more of a challenge than any college, technical, or military course I've ever taken. Good grief!

Last night before I fell asleep, I asked God how I did in showing love and the answer was that I did just enough to get by. My performance was average and everything I did was expected. Sigh...you know what? It's a week before Aunt Flo arrives and if I can get by without killing anyone that should count for some type of love. It isn't fair that I've been enrolled in S.O.U.L. while I deal with the horror of hormones. Talk about timing!

This morning, I was instructed to go out of my way to do something lovingly unexpected for my husband. At 4:00 a.m., the Holy Spirit nudged me and I felt led to get up and cook breakfast for hubby. I debated for 30 minutes whether to obey or not and finally got out of bed. For years, I woke up every morning before the chickens and cooked breakfast for hubby. Sometimes I even made him homemade biscuits. I did this until I felt taken for granted. He began expecting it and putting in menu requests like I was a short order cook.

Nevertheless, I prepared breakfast for hubby. I realized I missed doing this for him and then Ms. Flesh appeared out of nowhere.

What if he expects this tomorrow?
What if he begins taking me for granted again?
Does he appreciate this?
What about me?

I received several immediate responses in my spirit, but one pricked my heart.

What if Jesus asked these questions on the cross?

Hmmm...Love isn't fair, but the benefits can't be measured.

Hubby was sent off to work with a happy heart and a full stomach. I've set the tone for the day, so let's see if I can continue when the boys wake up.

Have a Terrific Tuesday in Motherhood!

How Deep Is Your Love?

Last night, while watching a favorite program, The Apprentice, I was enthralled with the interaction Dennis Rodman was having with his team members. Mr. Rodman has a reputation of being difficult to work with and quite independent. During the show, Dennis had an explosive confrontation with someone, but later returned to offer his full support to the team. He acted as if nothing happened. The project manager chose not to include Dennis in the completion of the task for obvious reasons.

I would love to have the opportunity to interact with Dennis Rodman; talk about a challenge! He would probably eat me alive, but as a woman striving to show the love of God in all my actions, would I have been able to humble myself and forgive Dennis for his destructive actions and rude comments? Better yet, let me bring this situation home - all the way home. Am I able to love my own husband when he says something I don't like? Am I able to love him while he's having a bad day and not so lovable? Am I able to love my husband if my love isn't returned? Am I able to look beyond his faults and see him with the eyes of Jesus? Am I able to out-serve him day after day?

This weekend, I also watched the movie Fireproof for the second time, and I'm convinced that showing love has got to be the most difficult thing to do. We know marriage requires long suffering, but so does every relationship we encounter. Oh sure! It's easy to love when the relationship is right, but can I love difficult people? How about unruly children that aren't my own? How about other women with personalities that don't 'click' with mine? Hmmm... These are the practical tests that reveal the carnality of my heart and mind.

Yep! I did some heart and soul searching this weekend. The depth of my love is weighed when stormy winds blow - when personalities conflict - when moods swing - when I'm rubbed the wrong way. What a way to begin the week! I'm sure God is preparing me for many opportunities to reveal what I'm really made of.

Whether you answer to the Bee Gees or to God, ask yourself...How Deep Is Your Love?

I Peter 4:8 (NKJV)
And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.”

A Gentle Reminder

As I look forward to resting and renewing my mind this weekend,
I'm reminded that although it's the weekend,
my time is STILL not my own.

My light must continue to shine - my steps must be ordered by God - my tongue must be controlled (ouch), and everything I do must be pleasing to God.

In other words...don't get so comfortable that I forget who I am and who I belong to!

Have a great weekend and don't forget to watch Wifey on the Travel Channel!

She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Proverbs 31:27

A Possible Addiction?

I KNOW I'm spending a lot of time on my blog - posting, adding, taking away, leaving comments, etc. Although this blog is a business, I still get 'caught up' in the excitement. I truly enjoy this!

More than once this morning while blog browsing, I've been prompted, by other bloggers, to monitor my time on the computer. Although I try to blog before the boys awake, I don't have to check emails and view my blog between dishes, cooking, and laundry. Good grief, is it that serious? No, it isn't...and if I'm not careful; I'll be addicted. My gift of writing can be abused and where is the glory that God expects?

This morning, I visited a Soft Place to Land, and look what I found! Do I need further confirmation or will I ignore the prompting to monitor my time? Oops! I mean, God's time?

Wifey's A Star!

One of my favorite Blogger Buddies, Wifey, has hit it big!

She'll be on the Travel Channel

Saturday, March 21st @ 8 p.m.

She also has a great contest going on, but I'll let the star tell you about it.

Drop in on Wifey for more info!

What's the life lesson in this? Be happy for others!