Every wife/mother is entitled to having a bad day, a valley moment, or a pity party. Sometimes you just need 5 minutes to whine, regroup, and get over it.
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Every wife/mother is entitled to having a bad day, a valley moment, or a pity party. Sometimes you just need 5 minutes to whine, regroup, and get over it.
Don't Wait!
I was speaking to a woman over the weekend who is a home health care provider. She was looking tired as usual, so I shared how I’ve incorporated a few, basic yoga poses into my exercise regime and how much more energy I have. Trust me, the positions are so basic, they shouldn’t even be considered yoga, and I know I’m not doing them 100% correctly, but it works!
Before you let your mind run away with you, I don’t chant or mediate to other gods while I do my simple yoga; I’m stretching and focusing on my breathing, which allows more oxygen into my lungs and delivers more energy. Anyway, the woman mentioned she couldn’t wait until she retired, so she could take care of herself. Before I knew it, I laughed out loud, and couldn’t stop. I asked her if she knew how funny her statement sounded and said, “You have to wait until you retire before you take care of yourself? You might be dead, or too old and stiff to stretch!”
Why do we (women), spend our entire life taking care of others without pouring into ourselves? I’ve said it a thousand times…before we can take care of others, we have to first take care of ourselves, or we’re left tired and easily agitated. It doesn’t take much to love on ourselves every morning - stretch, drink water, take vitamins, meditate and pray, look in the mirror and encourage ourselves. Can I be real? Even dogs know to stretch when they wake up, and believe it or not, there is a yoga pose called the dog stretch. Let’s face it.
A woman is called to serve; yet we have to be sweetly selfish enough to take care of our temples first, and not wait until it’s too late
Mother Nature Knows Best
There is a lot of talk about the weather these days.
It’s supposed to be spring, but
there is snow, ice, heat, and rain from coast to coast. Each state is
experiencing their own “spring” weather, and some cities, like mine, are
experiencing all four seasons in one day. The funny thing is how we expect
spring to invite warm weather. Of course, it usually does, but Mother Nature is
showing us that she can do what she wants, when she wants and how. She can also
change her mind mid day without explanation. The key is to be grateful for
another day regardless of the weather.
The weather is similar to life – as it
changes, we have to just go with the flow. Weather is unpredictable, and so is
life, so unless we learn to adapt and adjust, we’ll live a miserable and
frustrated life. Father Time and Mother Nature work together; and our only job
in their process, is to be content in whatever season of life we’re in. Yes, the
calendar says it’s spring, yet someone is going through a storm, someone else
may be experiencing the happiest day of their life, someone else is grieving,
someone is sick, someone’s health has been restored, someone is being born, and
someone is dying.
Life happens, and the best way to enjoy it is to not expect a
sunny day everyday, but be grateful for each and every day. We set ourselves up
for disappointment by looking for the sun. The rain is needed on Earth and in our lives, and aren’t we more
grateful for the sunny days after the rain has left? It all works together. This
spring weather may not make any sense to us, but it makes perfect sense to the
One who creates it. Have a marvelous spring day!
Look!
It’s been a while since I traveled to Alabama to see my family, so Secondborn and I hit the highway this weekend. As usual, I noticed the beautiful, colorful trees lining the highway, but this time I pointed the beauty out to Secondborn. I didn’t want him to miss what I was seeing. I wanted him to take notice of the changing of colors and seasons in the beautiful trees. I related awareness of the trees to awareness of life. We can continue to drive by the trees and focus on our destination, but we’ll miss the beauty the trees behold. Life is the same. I can continue focusing on my goals, dreams, and desires and miss the beauty of life happening all around me – the changing seasons of life, and the lessons and beauty they hold.
Even today as I drive within my city, I should focus more on my journey rather than my destination. Most of the time, I’m rushed, so beauty isn’t on my mind, but getting where I have to go is; therefore, I miss my journey. If I’m not careful, I’ll miss the journey of life by rushing to always meet the demands of others or feeling like my life is not fulfilled. It’s so easy to fill life with meaningless events. Life is fulfilled when we fill it with the One who created it! He is the source of our joy and fulfillment – nothing and nobody else can fulfill us like He can. I hear older people say all the time, “Life passed me by.” This is scary; I don’t want life to pass me by. Life is like a vapor – here one minute and gone the next. Let’s embrace this quickly-disappearing vapor called life. Let’s slow down and look at life happening all around us. Let’s recognize the journey – not the destination.
Mom, Get Out Of The Way!
“…and when you begin to see that person in the middle of
a difficult and painful struggle, don’t try to prevent it, but pray that his
difficulty will grow even ten times stronger until no power on earth or in hell
could hold him away from Jesus Christ.”
The above quote is an excerpt of my devotional reading
this morning. I had to share it because it’s the exact opposite of what I do
when I see my child, husband, or any loved one going through a difficult time.
As caretakers, women naturally want to take care of a situation. We want to fix
it and make it better. It’s hard watching someone go through a storm and if we
don’t step in, it appears we don’t care, but the devotional is saying that we
get in God’s way and try to be “amateur providences” in the lives of others.
Ouuuch! I remember my mother
saying, “If I could live your life for you, I would.” I believe most mothers
feel this way, but we have to learn when to get out of the way. This is one of
the hardest things for me because I feel like I’m called to protect my children
from falling, and to be a helper to my husband. In reality, instead of helping,
I’m hindering them from a closer walk with their real Helper!
We are called to help and
protect to a certain degree, and then allow God to be God. Sometimes I go
overboard with my help. Mama can’t always come to the rescue – although this
mama tries to. My phrase is, “Call me if you need me!” I guess we need to
establish a balance – recognizing the limitations of our earthly role, while
realizing the magnitude of God’s power. Bottom line - know when to get out of
the way!
Who Is That?
Years ago, when Firstborn was just a toddler, I remember
pointing at the television, and asking him who the person on the screen was.
Firstborn’s reply, with amazement in his eyes, was, “Jesus!” Of course he had never seen Jesus or even a
fictitious picture of him, but he associated the person with Jesus because
Jesus was the only conversation Firstborn ever heard from this person. This “Jesus” was my previous pastor in San Diego, California,
Pastor Timothy J. Winters, who went home to be with the Lord over the weekend. Since
I heard of his passing, I keep thinking about Firstborn’s association with this
great man of God. Wouldn’t it be nice to be associated with such a loving
person as Jesus?
I wonder who I’m associated with? I laugh when I think about this
because my walk is far from being like Jesus – more like the wicked witch of
the East. Pastor Winters was, without a doubt, a true servant and friend of God’s.
He wasn’t a perfect man, but he strived for perfection and his walk was so
focused that it inspired others to follow Jesus’ example also. Pastor Winters’
words frequently rewind in my head as they obviously did for my young toddler
so many years ago. Hmmm…what words do I leave for others to marinate on? Pastor
Winters gave me pre-marital counseling, and financial teaching every first
Sunday, but most of all, he taught Jesus in his expository style
of preaching. Pastor Winters recently retired, but his words are still working.
Think about it…regardless if we use
our words to gripe or gossip or to encourage and edify, the words we choose
will go before us and define our character, and linger on after we’re long
gone. We are what we speak! Thank you, Pastor Winters for not compromising your
words or worship. Your legacy lives on.
The Sarge In Me
Friday
evening, I asked Secondborn if he finished reading his book for a project due
this morning. He told me he had a few pages to go. I was surprised because
Secondborn doesn’t like to read. Secondborn’s answer didn’t settle well with
this mama. The title of the book is, Bucking
the Sarge, so I asked him who Sarge was. He said it was a lady. I
asked what branch of the military she was in. He said he didn’t know. This mama
knew Secondborn didn’t read his book. I finally got him to admit his “few pages”
were actually over one hundred pages. Nevertheless, Secondborn was on lockdown,
and we spent the entire weekend reading to each other. His project was to create
a game based on the book, so he named his game, Sargeisms.
By the way, Sarge was not only a lady, but a mean, cold, in-your-face, rich mother whose son’s friends mocked her ways and words for fun; they were also afraid of her. Hmmm…am I anything like Sarge? I told Secondborn he would thank me later for making him buckle down and read the book. Sometimes a mother has to be a Sarge and do what’s necessary. Our children may dislike us for our decisions, but will appreciate us later. Children, from toddlers to teenagers, sometimes need a Sarge to help set priorities, focus, and to do the right thing.
As mothers, we have to stay on top of our children, behind them, and in front of them. Sarge’s son ended up taking all her money and leaving the city; Sarge was tough. Hmmm…was the book for me? Well, I enjoyed it and the ending reminded me that when I turn into Sarge, to always show love in my actions – it makes a difference. There can be a sensitive, sensible side to the Sarge in me, too!
By the way, Sarge was not only a lady, but a mean, cold, in-your-face, rich mother whose son’s friends mocked her ways and words for fun; they were also afraid of her. Hmmm…am I anything like Sarge? I told Secondborn he would thank me later for making him buckle down and read the book. Sometimes a mother has to be a Sarge and do what’s necessary. Our children may dislike us for our decisions, but will appreciate us later. Children, from toddlers to teenagers, sometimes need a Sarge to help set priorities, focus, and to do the right thing.
As mothers, we have to stay on top of our children, behind them, and in front of them. Sarge’s son ended up taking all her money and leaving the city; Sarge was tough. Hmmm…was the book for me? Well, I enjoyed it and the ending reminded me that when I turn into Sarge, to always show love in my actions – it makes a difference. There can be a sensitive, sensible side to the Sarge in me, too!
Through the Fire
I thought quite a bit about a certain someone yesterday. After seeing her pretty face in my mind several times, I finally caught the clue to pray for her. She’s getting married soon, so I prayed for any last minute preparations she had going on. I don’t think anyone knows the real deal about marriage unless someone tells them. Most of us found out on our own after we made our vows before God and a few witnesses. Well, you know me. I’ll tell you the real deal plus some!
Marriage is a beautiful union between two people who really don’t know each other, but love each other so much they are willing to go through the fire of love to get to know each other after saying, “I do.” Of course that definition didn’t come until after I had been married a few years. I’ve shared my marriage on several occasions through these meditations, so it’s no secret that my marriage has spent a lot of time in the fire. I prayed for this certain someone more than once and at midnight thirty last night, she was on my mind again; so I prayed again. This time, I didn’t pray for last minute wedding preparations, but that God would prepare her mind, her body, and her soul for her walk through the fire of love.
As I write this, Chaka Khan’s song, Through the Fire chorus lyrics come to mind…Through the fire, to the limit, to the wall. For a chance to be with you I'd gladly risk it all. Through the fire, through whatever, come what may. For a chance at loving you, I'd take it all the way. Right down to the wire. Even through the fire. Beautiful, isn’t it? Marriage is beautiful also as long as we realize it’s required to go THROUGH the fire. There is no walking around it, jumping over it, or avoiding it. A marriage must go through the fire for love to be tested and tried.
As always, I remind women that my words on marriage exclude relationships involving mental, verbal, or physical abuse. Don’t go through the fire, get out of the fire! Run!
Have a marvelous week and stay covered (in prayer) as you go through your fire of love.
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